A meeting topic usually relating to awareness, acceptance, and action.

Those are the three steps a person must take in order to change, of course the action someone must take is heavily dictated by their counselors and peers.

-Pathway Survivor

Essentially in any situation you can add booze to it. Celebrating, having fun of course adding a six pack is great so you do it all the time, then like when your feeling down you add a six pack to feel better, then eventually you are constantly adding booze to every aspect of your life.

-Cornerstone Survivor

Typically a Steering Committee Member or a Group member who works “a good program” is assigned to a sketchy newcomer, or anyone who is deemed “sick” and needs to be surveilled at all times to ensure they don’t do anything unacceptable by Group standards.

-Insight Survivor

handles the finances but never cares to ask where the money goes… admin’s audit the charts and do databasing. also runs the office like the shop guy runs the shop. is often the first person the parent and group kid will see. is usually in parent meetings more than group meetings…

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Admins do all the things that nobody else wants to do, like handle money and payments for treatment. Also deal with insurance companies and shit when required. Make sure charts are kept up to date, etc.

-Insight Staff Survivor

Admin does the front office/desk stuff and may not be assigned a group to support but they usually attend some meetings and functions for whatever group.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

A formal / professional term for “The Group”

The alternative peer group is an approach to encouraging continued recovery in young people after treatment (IOP). The terminology was first presented by, John Cates, MA, LCDC of Lifeway International in Houston, TX.

A Meehan loyalist, John Cates oversaw the opening of new Enthusiastic Sobriety programs around the country. Meehan helped Cates get sober.

*Also see Bail / Bailed

The most common insult the group says about kids who leave the program and are “angry” at it - because they didn’t “get it.”

Often used to discredit those who speak out.

Also can be an ingrained fear to those who leave and still try to be on their “best behavior” in order to avoid being labeled an “angry bailed kid” which would result in further ostracization.

-Insight Survivor

If you say you can’t do something then you probably won’t try because you’ve already convinced yourself it won’t work. Arguing for your limitations is like arguing all the reasons you can’t or don’t want to get sober instead of focusing on the positives and what could come from it.

In other words, personal boundaries are often argued in the group and seen as being unwilling.

-Pathway Survivor

“they’d always say i was arguing my limitations when i said i was an introvert and needed time away from the group some nights to recharge”

-Crossroads Survivor

a meeting held during round robins where the group can ask a panel of staff members questions by writing them on strips of paper and placing them in a basket. (Usually gets personal as they try to embarrass staff who have insulted or embarrassed them in the past.)

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

An acronym reminding group members that asking for direction or guidance is their ass saving kit. It will lead the way so they don’t make the wrong decisions!

It plays out in a way that creates dependence on others to make any and all decisions. You gotta ask the group to save your life!

-Pathway Survivor

An outpatient exercise where the client is asked to think about who they feel loved by (in the group) and to imagine that love being transferred into a jar. The Jar is therefore symbolic of the group’s love and represents your higher power.

It only has three answers: yes, no and wait. They can then ask the jar what they should do, and the answer should be clear. A tool used when “gnars” aren’t available and entirely dependent on groupthink.

-Crossroads Survivor

A term used for graduating a Texas Alternative Peer Group (APG).

When someone graduates, they have “awakened" as if they are now considered to have had a "spiritual awakening" as a result of completing the multi-year program.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

It's really a bunch of guilt-trippy nonsense, just like most things from the Group. It meant that you couldn't just know about something or "have an awareness" but you needed to actually do something about it to find change.

On the surface, doesn't sound so bad. But behind the curtain, it was used to spiritually abuse people into doing more and always being afraid they weren't taking enough action. I never saw "being aware" as "enough" to anyone in the Group, you had to prove how you were working on something.

-Crossroads Survivor

if you are aware of a situation, behavior or event doesn’t mean that being aware is enough, people are often told to follow through with actions to rectify their situations because the standing of being aware is an easy thing to ignore in order to plateau in your life(which in theory is understandable however sometimes the only thing we can do about a situation is be aware and inform others about it)

-FullCircle Survivor

To bail is to leave the Group. Being “bailed” has a huge negative connotation to it that promotes guilt and shame on those who leave. People who bail are quickly ostracized and demonized by their peers and practically overnight.

-Insight Survivor

This meeting topic explains that your thoughts don’t make you crazy. You can think about robbing a bank, make an elaborate plan in your head, etc… but if you don’t actually act on it, you’re not a bank robber.

This is a topic that was used to validate a counselor who had a problem with child pornography prior to the group. Since he didn’t actually touch a child, only THOUGHT about it, that doesn’t make him a child molester or pervert (according to the group).

It’s a way to say you can have the most insane, not okay, unhealthy, delusional thoughts, but if you don’t act on them there’s nothing wrong with you!

They also love to use this one to tell you you’re not gay! “they’re just thoughts, bro!”

-Pathway Staff Survivor

An acronym for “being a real friend” by not letting your friends get by in their lives doing things that are negative for them (instead used it as a way to have you feel guilt if you didn’t constantly call your friends out for behavior that went against groups thinking)

-FullCircle Survivor

BARF, is be a real friend. Like pretty much tell the counselors if ur friends doing something wrong, or “have their back”

-Crossroads Survivor

Analogy used to explain why a person trying to get sober must cut all ties with people who drink or use drugs.

“If you want to be on the baseball team, you don’t hang out with the basketball players.”

*Also see Volleyball Player

This analogy also carries racial micro-aggressions directly from Bob Meehan. In a video of Staff training at the Meehan Institute, Meehan explains why he doesn’t like basketball.

-Pathway Survivor

Considered to be one of the worst things that can happen to you in the Program. Being blacklisted means you have been repeatedly hot-seated by the staff and you are in imminent danger of being axed by the Program. This usually involves losing your career, home, family, friends and possibly your life.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

Essentially a bootleg cold brew coffee made by the Shop Guy. Brewed multiple times, usually needs to be drowned in simple syrup to cover the taste. Highly caffeinated. Sold at the Shop Bar for $2.00.

*Staff are paid around $2.68 - $5.23 an hour and are not allowed free food or drinks from the Shop.

-Cornerstone Staff Survivor

The point of this meeting topic is to encourage people who are struggling or questioning the group to stop questioning things and instead force themselves to begin taking the actions they’re told to take.

Whether they believe in the process or not, this meeting topic explains that if you just start taking the actions (‘bring your ass’ aka talk to sponsor, share in meetings, show up to all meetings and functions, work the steps) then eventually your brain will follow along and begin to believe in it and see results.

You could be doubting the process, but this topic encourages you to jump in 100% regardless and ignore your gut because if you continue taking the actions that are presented to you, eventually your brain will start to believe that what you are doing is working.

Basically fake it til you make it.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

this was a way to say that as long as you are present in the program eventually you will come around to the groups way of thinking if you stayed long enough

-FullCircle Survivor

Some old crazy cult leader that runs teen drug abuse program that are actually scams.

Aw shit, man. Your parents are sending you to a Bob Meehan program? Better bring your checkbook.

-Urban Dictionary

A term used to describe anything or anyone that “sucked” or was considered “lame” by the Group.

-Freeway Survivor

Another poorly written self published book by Bob Meehan that tells you how to brainwash yourself by placing a small picture, phrase, or item that means something specific to you, placed in a location to constantly remind you of some Group doctrine.

-Insight Survivor

Meek Publishing Website says:

“Just imagine if, at every moment, you reacted to situations ten percent more positively. How much better would your life be? What if you could remind yourself of your own definition of happiness, success, and fun throughout your day? Bumper Stickers will show you how to “bump” yourself to guarantee that you are going in the right direction based on your own definitions. • Pain is pain. Gain is gain. You don’t need one to get the other. • This is a simple program for busy people. “

An annual multi-day social event hosted by the program for participants. Campout occurs in isolated areas, hours away from the program location and is known for clients and staff wedging for the entirety of the event.

Meetings are held on the second day where clients are encouraged to share deeply personal life experiences while in a sleep deprived state. Staff recommend clients who are drivers to and from this event to have slept at least four hours before driving a car full of participants home.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Anything deemed the “wrong way” to feel good (outside of drug use) by Staff standards.

Typically refers to flirting or gaming. These are then shamed and frowned upon for not getting your “good feelings” solely out of the Group doctrine.

-Cornerstone Survivor

“I struggle so much when I feel good, as if I gained these good feelings the wrong way and now I should feel guilt and shame about it. That’s so fucked up that the program made me think to hate myself for having good feelings without them.”

-Insight Survivor

Typically for Staff who begrudgingly go to AA/NA meetings to pretend they do work a 12 step program. Usually because the Program has been getting called out for being a cult and Staff are sent to meetings to prove otherwise.

Most Group members are discouraged from AA/NA meetings until they are about to graduate or are punished by a temporary shunning and required to go to a 30 & 30.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

“The business fable of The Chicken and the Pig is about commitment to a project or cause. When producing a dish made of eggs with ham or bacon, the pig provides the ham or bacon which requires his or her sacrifice and the chicken provides the eggs which are not difficult to produce. Thus the pig is really committed to that dish ("has skin in the game") while the chicken is only involved, yet both are needed to produce the dish.”

Essentially this is a meeting where a counselor leads it and basically asks everyone to evaluate how they feel they’ve been doing in the group and with taking actions. They can choose to either be the chicken (doing bare minimum, only looking out for themselves) or the pig (giving all of themselves to the group, 100% committed, would do anything for the group, would give self up entirely for the group). It’s a meeting meant to make you feel bad for not doing enough, to make you speak up and admit your shortcomings to your peers, and ideally push you to dive in deeper and commit more.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

On Cornerstone Team Counseling wilderness trips - if someone didn’t behave perfectly or was emotional for whatever reason someone would call “Circle” and everyone would have to stop hiking to hold a meeting about whomever was not behaving accordingly and we’d sit in a circle until the person who was targeted caved in and “owned” their feelings.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

Someone may confront you or question your behavior and they will say they are “coming out of love” so that you have no rebuttal. They are doing nothing wrong by using harsh or cruel words and in fact, you are wrong for questioning their love for you.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

The gathering after the meeting - usually at The Shop. This is a time for dancing, drinking coffee, games and intense one-on-one conversations with either Group members or Staff, usually in reference to what was said in the meeting.

Required attendance and usually goes until 10:30pm on weekdays. Hangouts are encouraged to go later, and going home after coffee to sleep or do homework for school the next day is frowned upon.

-Insight Survivor

Most staff and group members want to be regarded as a “cool quitter” instead of a disgruntled ex-staff or angry bailed kid. They are out but in, and drinking the kool aid.

-Insight Survivor

you work a job that doesn’t require much of you or a start a business named after a group term. you date someone on staff or from the church. you continue to help at functions or meetings and even hang out with step two on staff purpose nights… even though you’re pushing 40. your only friends are still the staff and maybe ONE guy in aa. your probably sponsored by a director. drugs, still bad. porn, still evil. bob, still god.

the women are almost either on the path to motherhood or getting right with god to hopefully be rehired. the men don’t seem to come back nearly as much but you’ll always see them at a big function running the photo booth or something.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

A portion of the God Memo, by Og Mandino, stipulating to be grateful for what you have.

Bastardized to imply that if you want something more, you need to work on your gratitude and let it go. (Settle for less)

-Pathway Staff Survivor

An acronym for Communication Resolves All Problems.

Encourages the overwhelming culture of oversharing. By constantly talking about every thought or feeling - problems should solve themselves simply by voicing everything out loud.

However, too many vocalized negative thoughts, questions or concerns would deem you to be “spiritually sick” and “not a winner” which would mean shunning within the Group.

-Cornerstone Staff Survivor

Spending the night out at someone else's place. For those who lived far away, had no car, or bad home conditions, crashing out may occur for weeks at a time and become a way of life. Some Group members who lived in their home city, never slept in their own bed at home for years.

Crashing Out is the main solution suggested by Staff to deal with clients who are struggling with suicidal ideation, detoxing, self-harm, psychotic breaks, or overdosing. These issues are then dealt with and cared for by other Group members, who are often minors with no parental or professional supervision.

-Insight Survivor

Confessing to something deemed “bad” by the Group.

Sometimes public confessions of watching porn, masturbating, getting an STI, hanging out with people outside The Group, relapsing, or keeping thoughts to yourself.

-Freeway Survivor

If you were in a relationship (after being presented a rose, gone on two chaperoned dates and talked with your sponsor/staff to be boyfriend and girlfriend) you were allowed one date a week (unsupervised.) Typically on Sundays or Wednesdays when there was not a group meeting or function, or a regular hangout. If you missed any of those for a date, you were deemed codependent and sick and might be broken up by staff/sponsor direction.

-Insight Survivor

Couples had “date nights” and then they didn’t hang out with each other outside of that because it was considered to be sooooo fucking selfish.

-Insight Survivor

A meeting topic to discourage masturbation.

The story goes something like this: When you go to Hell and meet the Devil, he’s got a clock in his office that moves every time you masturbate - and your clock goes so fast the Devil uses it as a fan.

-The Pathway Program Staff Survivor

The director is who calls the shots for pretty much everything in that city. So like each Insight director reports to no one but Clint. They ultimately have the final word on anything going on in each group and in outpatient. The OP counselor reports to the director, but they still are who make decisions about the direction of “treatment”.

-Insight Staff Survivor

Owner of the program (or put in charge by the real owner) and probably does the most community outreach of the staff. is the face of the program in the outside world. leads purposes, is present at staff meetings, usually the one to sign off on hours. relationship with group members varies. usually involved with parents more.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Director usually oversees the whole program/ city/ or multiple city area under the same program.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

Not making yourself or your story open, available, and on display for everyone (in the Group) at all times. Not appearing "vulnerable" enough which was actually a contrived version of vulnerability which meant allowing the Group access to all parts of you and producing emotion or struggles to show you were being "honest." Having no personal boundaries.

-The Crossroads Program Staff Survivor

Used as was basically a way to determine if you were “enough” of an addict and to one up people. if someone said their DOC was weed, yours was spice. if someones was coke yours was crack. if someones was ecstasy yours was heroin. it was always a way of showing who had been through worse, figuring out who had gone down the road furthest. everyone at some point had to talk about their DOC and those who really werent addicts would shamefully say ‘weed’ or lie and say something more extreme for acceptance. all it was was yet another tool to rank people

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

The identity of a drug addict or dopefiend that takes over the Group member’s entire sense of self.

Also what a person is referred to when they express any negative human emotion, such as insecurity or frustration. “Well yeah, you feel that way. You’re a dopefiend.”

-Pathway Survivor

A meeting topic that attempts to keep group members from leaving or doubting the program. Just stick it out a little longer for some more brainwashing. It’s like a fake promise to those who are struggling and think they might need to go somewhere else for help.

-Insight Survivor

a way to say don’t give up before your life changes(or don’t quit before we can change your mind/manipulate you enough to stay)

-FullCircle Survivor

An exercise in Outpatient where the client is given cards, most of which are terrible, and explained that those are the cards life dealt them - but they have to opportunity to pick new cards.

The Royal Flush, which the counselor incidentally has in their hands, are the best cards they can get and symbolic of the life the client can have if they work the program, or better yet - become a counselor one day.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Like girl commitments, it is specifically targeting queer, tomboy or butch presenting people and making them wear dresses to “improve self-worth.” Because low self-worth is the only reason you would dress more masculine as a girl.

BUT it is also for girls/femmes who dress TOO NICELY for the group and they are deemed “attention seeking” or “void filling” and they are made to stop wearing dresses and wear hoodies and sweats to get humbled.

-Insight Survivor

Graduates, Ex-Staff, and Parents who still love the program and righteously defend it are “drinking the kool-aid”

A nod to the Jim Jones suicide cult.

-Insight Survivor

*See Out But In

An acronym for Easing God (or the Group) Out.

You sense of self is intrinsically at odds with the Groupthink. You are taught to destroy/ignore/reject your Ego.

-The Pathway Program Survivor

Meetings usually held at retreats and campouts in the Texas Alternative Peer Groups. Everyone would take turns sharing very intense trauma stories and if someone didn’t have serious trauma to share about, they would be focused on until they did. These meetings would always last several hours long into the early morning hours.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

An assignment given by Staff from Texas Alternative Peer Groups, usually to Outpatient kids or steering committee members to pull a random fellow group member aside and stare into each other’s eyes for 5 minutes while holding hands and once the 5 minutes was up they’d swap trauma stories.

This exercise actually comes from how Bob Meehan met his wife, Joy.

They met at a spiritual seminar in the 70’s and were paired up with each other. They had to hold hands and stare into each other’s eyes for an extended period of time - and this is how they fell in love.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

Acronym for Emergency Relief Fund. After each meeting, a hat for ERF would be passed around while the Group chants “Emergency Relief Fund! For the Group, From the Group, Spent by the Group!”

The funds were supposed to be used for “fists and shit,” but in many cases was allegedly used by counselors to make ends meet as their salaries are far below the federal poverty line.

-Insight Staff Survivor

Any organized or official system outside of the Group; including all parents.

-Freeway Survivor

Create a falsehood of confidence to portray, in hopes of adopting this way of thinking to be true over time.

-FullCircle Survivor

The innermost circle of the Program’s hierarchy. Consists of a handful of Directors and members of the Meehan and Stonebraker family.

Bob Meehan, Joy Meehan, Wendy Meehan Stonebraker, Clint Stonebraker, Shelby Stonebraker Ribolin, Renae Smith, Byron Smith, Glenn Schendel, Shannon Schendel, Matt Meyer, Jessica Meyer, Steve Winkleman, Heather Lewis Winkleman, Josh Azevedo, Valerie Azevedo, Matt Klein, Kate Klein, Mike Weiland, Amy Weiland, Frank Szachta

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Considered the best action to take when you are “living in fear.” Fear could mean anything from making a big decision to being out of your comfort zone.

This is usually posed as a challenge from a counselor to make a client conform to a certain belief or behavior.

-The Cornerstone Program Survivor

This acronym is basically a way to describe anxiety and gaslight clients into believing their anxieties were not real or a choice to live in Fear.

-The Cornerstone Program Survivor

An acronym used to describe fear but usually in the context of the person not being honest enough. They’re trying to appear recovered, which is dishonest and a manifestation of their fear of vulnerability.

This is all subjective to Staff or Group members, and the target is usually blind-sided to find out they’ve been feeling or doing alright, but now suddenly deemed spiritually sick.

-The Cornerstone Program Survivor

Acronym used to describe the incorrect way to handle Fear. Sometimes used appropriately, but also applied to describe situations that reflected an unwillingness to conform to the Group’s standards.

-The Cornerstone Program Survivor

A hazing ritual for newcomers to be scared senseless in a planned and fabricated terrifying event. Typically Group members take newcomers to desolate dirt roads, abandoned buildings or other spooky/haunted places.

Often involves incredibly traumatic events for those who don’t know they are being targeted. Fear Missions include staged murders, sexual assault, kidnapping, medical emergencies, robberies, satanic rituals, cross burnings or lynching. Weapons are regularly involved like knives, axes, machetes, tasers, nooses, and guns.

-The Insight Program Survivor

An acronym for Fucked-up, Insecure, Negative and Emotional. Typically said to anyone who answers “fine” when questioned by a counselor about who they are doing.

You are rarely ever “doing well” in the Group. You must always be digging, criticizing, or confessing something about yourself - even if it means making up false memories or problems.

-The Pathway Program Survivor

A leather necklace tied into a monkey knot. After completing 30 days of sobriety you were presented a “fist.” After a year sober, you were presented a braided necklace, with 365 braids, with the monkey knot.

You can identify Group members in public by a brown leather fist that is impressively spun between their fingers.

Staff wear white fists.

-The Insight Program Survivor

The fist makers usually relapse or bail after having this commitment.

Sometimes, Group members who never make it to Steering Committee social status attempt to climb the social ladder by taking on this commitment, however they usually fall victim to the fist maker curse instead of being picked to join Steering Committee.

-Insight Survivor

Meeting topic where a person shares if they think they are a Flee-er, Flyer, or Floater and the rest of the Group then shares if they agree or not.

-Crossroads Survivor

Someone in the Group who is deemed not to be working a program by the rest of the Group and is on their way out to bail or relapse.

-Crossroads Survivor

Someone who is neither “killing it” in the program nor on their way out. Those kids that are just there and will probably become a Flee-er if they don’t step up their game.

-Crossroads Survivor

Someone in the Group who is deemed to be working a program by the rest of the Group. A winner.

-Crossroads Survivor

Mostly used in Outpatient and the counselor would say, “saying you fuck a goat is honest, but saying you fucked a goat and liked it is super honest - and that’s how honest you have to be all the time.”

It’s notable that when someone actually does confess to abusing animals, sexually or physically, in Outpatient - they are met with praise for being so honest. However, when someone shares that they experienced abuse, sexual or physical, themselves - they are typically met with victim blaming and shaming.

-The Pathway Program Survivor

Something (person, behavior, thought process, etc.) that is deemed unhealthy in the eyes of the Group. The “something” should be avoided or shunned.

This is subjective to what the Group or Staff says at that time. This is usually the most constant and consistent “feedback” someone receives when they are struggling.

-The Crossroads Program Survivor

a term that relates to what exactly you are going through and if you have stated everything you are struggling with (this term is often used in other topics and or phrases)

-FullCircle Survivor

*See also Uber and Give Your Full Address

Refers to a social event that is hosted by the program staff for participants. Typically, it is at the shop or it can be a group outing. Staff are typically present.

Functions Include:

• Game shows (Family Feud, Deal or No Deal, etc.)

• Talent shows

• Scavenger hunts

• Themed dances

• Movie nights

• Sports (indoor soccer, softball, etc)

-Insight Survivor

A primary belief and practice of enthusiastic sobriety programming is that adolescents must replace risk-taking behavior that leads to substance abuse with other risk-taking taking behavior. The term ‘Fun Felonies’ was coined by Bob Meehan in the book Beyond the Yellow Brick Road to describe the type of risk-taking behaviors that adolescents should swap substance abuse with. This the listed at the top textbook in the Meehan Institute Application Packet.

The explanation for ‘fun felonies’ states that, “It's fun to get chased by the cops. It's a drag to get caught... At age 11, I used to roll tires down a hill onto a highway full of speeding cars. It was a stupid and dangerous thing to do. I caused accidents. But it was fun. A fun felony.”

“I have very vivid memories of the feeling I would get...We would be throwing rocks at street lights, and the next thing we knew a cop car would come tearing around the corner. I remember that rush of adrenaline as I ran for dear life....Those were scary times. but you sure felt alive with the cops at your heels. Committing fun felonies are some of the most vivid and meaningful memories we have.”

Meehan even discusses parent reactions to the idea of ‘fun felonies’, “Parents are sometimes horrified when I tell them about fun felonies. They think it's immature and irresponsible to talk about them. But how many times have you sat with a group of ‘mature’ adults and heard them trade war stories about their childhood? The war stories of our youth represent some of the most precious goods in our mental war-house. We're proud of these experiences. Strangely enough, however, parents are seldom able to understand that their kids are doing research for their own war stories. One reason I have been so successful rehabilitating teenage drug abusers is that I am very closely in touch with the adolescent in me. I am the person who rolled those tires down the hill and risked killing someone, and there is still something in me that gets excited by that.”

Basically just flirting - but framed in a way so that it was considered “bad.”

No attraction or flirting was allowed without being in a Group or Staff approved relationship. Even then PDA is considered unhealthy and co-dependent by Group standards.

It could also be used to refer to two people of the opposite sex simply hanging out platonically, but deemed to be gaming by the Group.

-Insight Survivor

vague criticism given to someone engaging in some romantic or dating behavior that the speaker finds annoying?

-Lifeway Survivor

When you are forced into a one-on-one meeting with Frank Szachta that would last several hours. You would be talked at for so long, you usually broke down and end up complying with whatever Frank wanted you to do.

-The Cornerstone Program

Getting vulnerable. Usually refers to how one should be during Outpatient sessions, meetings and “gnars.”

-Insight Survivor

Given to people who Staff decided they needed to present more feminine; typically targeted at “Tom Boy” girls, non-binary folks and trans men. A commitment to make them wear heals, dresses, skirts, and/or make up for a specific period. This is a harmful practice that can cause gender dysphoria which also can cause depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation.

-Insight Survivor

Random hangout/function, or in Texas Alternative Peer Groups - every Friday night, every girl in the group who was on Steering Committee or Outpatient would have to gather at someone’s house and hangout, wedge, and commit “fun” felonies. In Texas, everyone would meet for the HUGE Saturday Morning Meeting the next day.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

“Uber” or “Give Your Full Address” is a common meeting topic.

The analogy goes: if you call an Uber to 1345 St. in your city, but don’t share the zip code, the drive is probably going to go to the wrong address because there’s five of those addresses in different neighborhoods and you didn’t specify enough for them to get to the right place or get the right direction.

Essentially, when you’re filling someone in you need to tell them EVERYTHING or else they can’t give you the right advice because they don’t know the whole story.

“Dude, give your full address” means “tell me EVERYTHING and EVERY detail or else I’m gonna have the story twisted and give you the wrong direction”

This is another effort to blur boundaries and dissolve the individual as every single thought or memory needs to be shared, judged and critiqued by the group as a whole.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

a saying that goes with the idea that you yourself cannot give people direction in life if your struggling in your own life, this was used often times to play into peoples want to help others and if your “full address” wasn’t shared you can’t help anyone, in other words a way to guilt trip/manipulate people to share their personal struggles to be deemed worthy to help others.

-FullCircle Survivor

Nickname for extremely personal one on one conversations between Group members. These talks could be about anything from a person’s conception of God to describing sexual assaults they experienced. They could last up to multiple hours of conversation.

-The Pathway Program Survivor

A portion of the God Memo stipulating to work hard. Used to spiritualize being overworked and underpaid as a Staff member or encouraging a group kid to take on more responsibilities than is reasonable for a client to be burdened with.

Running your car on fumes while rides to everyone in the Group with no gas money to help you out in the hopes that God will perform a miracle and get you to your destination.

-Freeway Survivor

refers to a section in the book “The Greatest Miracle in the World” by OG Mandino (who’s recommendation of Beyond the Yellow Brick Road is printed on the back of Bob’s Book), which is around 20 pages and contains five rules to live by. It also (allegedly) retrains your brain to love itself, because the messaging is so positive. People are usually placed on a commitment to read it every day for 30+ days (usually once every night for 100 days but if you’re the Step 2 overnight counselor, then twice every night for 100 days since reading it to the group doesn’t count, as it’s part of your job)

-The Pathway Program Survivor

Basically meant to describe why someone is acting out in “void filling” behaviors, i.e., flirting, wearing make-up, listing to certain music, or doing anything objectively harmless - but not Group approved. Things you would also get blamed for “attention seeking.” Then you are told that only God can fill that empty hole in you.

-The Crossroads Program Survivor

This is a way to excuse tragedies and mistakes and make it seem like they were meant to be.

The idea is that there is one final destination/goal of being sober free happy etc and that if you were looking at a graph, you would see that as a point at the end. But along the way, there are ups and downs, good days and bad days, making the graph crooked.

In theory; if you follow the group’s rules and suggestions, you will eventually end up at that final destination, but your graph will look like waves or “crooked”.

Basically, saying everything that’s bad that happens is to get you to your end goal of sobriety or acceptance in the group.

If your grandma dies unexpectedly, they say “god writes straight in crooked lines!” aka this was meant to happen for your sobriety journey.

If you are assaulted, “god writes straight in crooked lines!” aka it was to teach you a lesson and push you towards the end goal.

An excuse for anything tragic or unexpected to make it seem like it’s all a part of the grand plan.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

a way to identify that everything happens for a reason “good or bad” and that you have to find the “silver lining” in the horrible situations we face(if something happens to you that may be way to much for your psyche to handle this would be said to get you to find some type of reason to be okay with whatever it is that happened)

-FullCircle Survivor

An analogy used to explain how our minds work; that we have two dogs. One that is good and one that is bad. The stronger one will be whichever you feed.

The idea is that if you feed positive thoughts and take positive actions, they will become stronger and overthrow the power of negative thoughts and negative actions. Bad dog thoughts are often applied to romantic desires or sexual thoughts toward the same sex.

This is the subtle tactic used in the Group to practice conversion therapy.

-The Pathway Program Survivor

A conception of a Higher Power that revolves entirely around what members of the Group think. If you are seeking “Good Orderly Direction” you are seeking advice from peers, which is the voice of God.

*See 3DHP

-Insight Survivor

This is all about reaching out and giving back. Meeting leader tells a story about a man who was down on his luck, homeless, jobless, cold on the streets. A kind stranger walked by and noticed his misfortune, deciding to sit and chat with the man. This passerby was in possession of a “green glob”. The glob is “giving back” or selflessness. He splits his green glob into 2 pieces, and offers 1 piece to the man. With this green glob, his luck turns. He gets a job, a home, and is happy. A few months later he’s walking and notices another person down on their luck. He decides to give them a piece of his green glob like he had been given, and that persons luck also changes. His green glob grows to twice the size after he shares it. Then they give a piece to a stranger, and so on so on. Eventually thousands of people have a piece of this green glob and their life is better for it.

Essentially the green glob is a metaphor for reaching out or giving back. If you’re in a good spot, you need to pass that on to those who aren’t by loving on them, reaching out, offering rides advice etc. The more you give back, the bigger the green glob gets and the more people you can help.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Being in The Program vs. being in The Group.

Being in The Group means you are a client of an Enthusiastic Sobriety Alternative Peer Group.

Being in The Program is more commonly referenced to being on Staff. The Staff are no longer in “the group” they are now in “the program.”

Being in The Program can be used universally for Group members and Staff. But being a group member is solely referencing clients.

-Insight Survivor

Random hangout/function, or in Texas Alternative Peer Groups - every Friday night, every guy in the group who was on Steering Committee or Outpatient would have to gather at someone’s house and hangout, wedge, and commit “fun” felonies. In Texas, everyone would meet for the HUGE Saturday Morning Meeting the next day.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

gender split meetings that often times included a multitude of ages often talking about things that shouldn’t be discussed with minors, or things that minors deal with that shouldn’t be addressed with adults I.e porn, masturbation, dating, etc; these also often didn’t take into account anyone’s sexuality and or if someone was transgender so anyone in lgbtq+ was either extremely uncomfortable or ostracized from these meetings because they were easily disregarded in these topics of discussion

-FullCircle Survivor

“attempts to fix your life with half assed energy” stating that everything you did before the program to help fix your shortcomings were not enough and the actions you took prior were “half assed” so to continue doing the same thing was pointless

-FullCircle Survivor

The point of location where the Group will be hanging out at a time where there is no meeting or function.

If you are not at the shop, or occupied with other Group sanctioned activities - then you are at hangout.

Hangout is preferred to be at a Group member’s apartment with no parents or supervisors, otherwise a wealthier family’s house with large enough space for 30+ teenagers to occupy, or lastly, a 24 hour diner such as Waffle House.

-Insight Survivor

Possessing the highly prized blind, total commitment to the Group in addition to the frenzied, brash intensity of the truly brainwashed that only the highest level Staff attain.

Also as a highly idolized person due to their extreme drug use history - despite whether it is true or not - it is hardcore and brings up their social status in the Group.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

A meeting topic used to describe the idea of having a thought of relapse and or negative behavior is one thing however it is up to you to entertain the idea, or come up with a way to execute this thought.

-FullCircle Survivor

Calling out someone’s shortcomings, usually in a public setting or premeditated by the Group or members of Steering and Staff.

Cloaked in a way that is “coming out of love” even though it is harsh, invasive, and usually condemning normal human behavior or emotion that is outside of the Group’s ideals.

-Cornerstone Survivor

Having your astrological chart done by a member of the Family, usually by Renae Smith. This is required prior to being accepted as a higher-level Staff member or sponsee of a Family member.

-Freeway Survivor

Meehan’s description of what a good group (and group member) should be like.

-Freeway Survivor

a term that people use to tell you to pray on a situation and or turn things over to god (in group used to tell you that you should think on your actions and converse with god beforehand)

-FullCircle Survivor

Surrender to God, pray, see what Gods plan is

A euphemism for praying to a Higher Power

-Insight Survivor

In Texas Cornerstone, whenever a group member relapsed, got caught lying, or was accused of anything they would have to write an honesty list containing who they have masturbated to, who they have crushes on, relapse behavior and or any negative recurring thoughts. A lot of the time if the list was not super fucked up emotional and thorough the staff would make us write another one with more details. After the list was approved by staff, we would then be assigned to read it to everyone in the regular group meetings (even if there were people on the list present) in those meetings.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

A Host Family is usually a group member who is out of outpatient and their parents have a big enough house to allow a minor come live with them who joins the group and may live out of town. Host Families have no training and receive no payment. They cannot enforce curfew or punishments, and just pretty much act as a “crash pad.”

-Insight Survivor

Hosting - When someone ‘earned their way’ out of their house, usually due to dishonesty or entitlement, they would host at another families house, one that was deemed as having enough boundaries. This also happened for a lot of kids coming out of treatment, without being given a chance to try to live at home. Sometimes this was a month long, sometimes it was 6+ months long. Their host was responsible for making sure they stayed on the good and narrow path, and any missteps were the responsibility of the host as well as the hostee, even if the hostee was unaware of the rule that they had broken. Hostees would have family sessions as normal, and be given action items to go back home. It was not uncommon for a hostee to complete all said action items and then be given more. This was used as a threat, do this or you’ll be kicked out of your house. Youre too old to be hosting, if you get kicked out you’re going to Star of Hope (a homeless shelter in downtown Houston). Hostee would get home visits, which were basically a trial run to see if you would be compliant enough to be able to go home. Hostees often got their phones and cars taken away, and if they had a job they would lose it.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

An exercise in Outpatient where a client ranks their own level of Honesty, Open Mindedness, and Willingness. The rest of OP then decides if their personal rankings were accurate. The punchline is usually that you’re either at a 0 or a 10 - since you can only be honest or dishonest, open minded or closed minded, and willing or unwilling.

Just another peer enforced indoctrination of black and white thinking.

-Pathway Survivor

Joy Meehan or Wendy Meehan Stonebraker would hypnotize Staff members into relearning the “War of Northern Aggression,” or more commonly known as the Civil War.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

In training, they said that the 8th beat of rap music will hypnotize you into relapse of unprincipled behavior. That’s why they ban rap music in the group.

-Insight Staff Survivor

International Coalition of Chemical Abuse Programs, or Icecap. (“International” referred to Canada, where Meehan had opened a few programs, though his efforts to launch one had ended with allegations that ES was, according to the Vancouver Sun, “a cult.”)

Icecap consisted of five programs: Crossroads in St. Louis, Insight in Atlanta, and Lifeway, which had branches in Dallas, San Antonio, and Phoenix. Soon they would be joined by a Colorado program, which at first was called Alpha, and later Cornerstone.

Local leaders were expected to call Meehan daily to consult on their operations. Meehan also dictated who in Icecap worked where, often moving counselors across the country with little advance notice. As a staff-retention technique, it was perversely effective. Stationed in strange cities, with few or no contacts outside ES, counselors weren’t inclined to leave the world Meehan had built.

Icecap was dissolved after the ABC segment in Phoenix, and the existing ES programs don’t advertise their organizational connections. But they form an ecosystem of sorts.

-The Atavist Magazine

A phrase used condescendingly about what you are suggesting or thinking about wanting to do that is not acceptable to the Group; and they don’t believe it can “work for you” at all. You can try, but you will be considered “fucked up” and likely shunned.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

“Our highs will be high, our lows will be low, but if your heart can take it, come fly with me”

a quote to romanticize the program as a place that helps you float above the rest as long as you are willing to adopt the beliefs of the program

-FullCircle Program

Not openly discussing issues or thoughts as they come up. When you are “in your head” it means you are not sharing something that you might “need” to share.

This usually only applied if you are seen being by yourself or engaged in a solitary activity like looking at your phone.

-Crossroads Survivor

Any thoughts a person has that are mostly related to sex, drugs or violence.

It can also be used to describe thoughts that aren’t necessarily harmful, but against the group’s doctrine.

Sometimes, the word “insanities” replaces the word “thought.” Instead of saying “I thought of getting high,” a group member would say “I just had the insanity to get high.”

It becomes so ingrained that our own thinking is insane by default and cannot be trusted.

-Insight Survivor

“Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results”, but typically referring to things deemed bad by the Group

-Insight Survivor

Comes from a Chapter in Bob Meehan’s Book, Beyond The Yellow Brick Road. (page 16)

It implies that you must rely on the intellect of others and their opinions on your life, rather than deciding things for yourself because that involves emotions.

-Insight Survivor

is touted as what will happen to anyone who leaves the group/program.

If these things do not happen on their own naturally, the Family will work to see that they do (see Blacklisting above) in order to punish dissenters, instill terror and reinforce that what they say will happen will happen.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

shares similar roles with senior counselor but has specific roles. will often times do aftercare or individual appointments with people. usually does function planning

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Jr. Counselor and shop guy were kind of the same thing. Just there to be available to the support group whenever the shop was open. Also did most of the function planning and stuff. Not every city has one, only larger groups.

-Insight Staff Survivor

A junior counselor supports the Senior counselor and usually plans all the functions, meets with group members and talks with group members throughout events.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

Send us a message below to add “K” words, phrases or meeting topics

A day in Outpatient where everyone writes down their deepest and darkest traumas and then openly share about them to the Group. The Group provides feedback to help you recognize “your part” in whatever childhood or sexual trauma you may have experienced and now you are expected to let it go and not think about it again.

-Insight Survivor

This is a way to make people feel like volunteers instead of victims lol. Basically saying if something tragic happens in your life or to you, it was meant to be & you need to accept it because that’s “life on life’s terms”. If you are drunk and assaulted, that’s life on life’s terms and you need to come to terms with it because that’s how it was meant to be.

If your parent is killed in an accident, that’s life on life’s terms and meant to happen. You have to accept it. Can’t question it, feel sorry for yourself etc. that’s just “how it goes” and you’re made to just make peace with it. (then peers share stories about when life has gone in a different direction than anticipated or tragedies have happened and positives they have convinced themselves have come from it, validating that it was “meant to be”)

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Used to describe a Staff member that is in it for life and will never quit, marry another Staff member, and have children in hopes of them becoming Staff one day. This is considered as a badge of honor.

-Freeway Survivor

Secrets or privacy is frowned upon in the group, and members often believe someone is being dishonest if they choose to be alone or do things outside of the group.

Living in a glass house encourages members to live transparently and share every aspect of their life with the group and their peers. The idea is that if you lived in a glass house and a member walked by, they wouldn’t be surprised at all by what you are doing and who you are with inside.

Complete honesty and vulnerability with group members so there is no secret or surprise if they happened to see inside your home.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

your house (you) should be transparent and open to any and all people or group, if you live in a house of glass you have nowhere to hide, and nothing to hide, forcing the idea of you giving all of yourself to the group

-FullCircle Survivor

Don’t bring up how uncomfortable you were when I said or did something two weeks ago.

-Lifeway Survivor

Meetings usually held at retreats, wilderness trips, Round Robins and campouts. Everyone would take turns sharing about what they loved, appreciated and are grateful for about every person sitting in the meeting. These meetings would always last several hours long into the early morning hours. Mostly held at events where there was sleep deprivation and is considered a form of “love bombing”

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

*See also Stroke Meeting

if you loved someone, the only way to show it (in groups eyes) was to do strenuous amounts of service, and that your words or feelings of love couldn’t be trusted because you were an addict and you can’t trust the words of an addict

-FullCircle Survivor

An anonymous act of love, a gift, a note, or anything of the like to let the person know they are thought about and appreciated. Very much a love-bombing tactic.

-Crossroads Survivor

When a newcomer joins the Group, they would be invited to take showers or baths with kids who had been in The Group for a while. This is posed as a way to become vulnerable and humble. This most commonly occurs with minors in The Group.

-FullCircle Survivor

Held at the Texas Cornerstone Team Counseling satellite, functions, retreats and purpose. Everyone would line up and massage the person in front of them. This was always initiated by Staff and Staff always participated.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

said as a response by counselors any time they are accused of brainwashing

-Crossroads Survivor

A medallion was given to someone with a year or multiple years of sobriety, and 5 people would share on their behalf. Despite saying you would get one for multiple years, if you asked if you could do a medallion you would be told you were being entitled/a brat, because after the first year it was easy and nothing to be celebrated.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

*See Monkey Fist or Fist for other Enthusiastic Sobriety Programs

Merchants of cool is a documentary. This is a clip but it’s basically about marketing and is used to support that rap/pop music and culture is bad and group is good.

One staff member would even go as far as to say the group is so good because they don’t advertise and everyone who wants to be there is chosen.

-Cornerstone Survivor

mis-interpreting social situations

-Freeway Survivor

When young people achieve 30 days of continuous abstinence from substance use, a ‘monkey’s fist’ knot is tied around the Wanna Ball and it is turned into a necklace. The monkey’s fist knot is a mariner’s knot the was historically used to throw from a ship to the dock – a ship’s first contact with the land. In sobriety, this knot symbolizes a newly recovered young person’s peers helping them anchor their newly found sobriety. After a year of sobriety from drug abuse, the teens and young adults receive a ‘year’s fist’, consisting of three hundred and sixty-five braids. (Cited from thecornerstoneprogram.com)

The Monkey’s Fist is part of the Enthusiastic Sobriety Abuse logo as it is the most identifying marker of cult members - besides swarms of teenagers chain smoking.

A picture of a deamon-esque rabbit that you tape to electronic devises to remind you not to watch porn.

If you do watch porn, you “gave up” or “lost” your mookie.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

*See Bumper Stickers

It’s marijuana.

Bob has an entire chapter about it in his Book Beyond the Yellow Brick Road.

Essentially it’s so dangerous because people don’t know they are addicted to it. When you do heroin, you know your an addict, but when you smoke pot you think its normal. Bob says heroin is a “body” drug and pot is a “head” drug - so it’s more dangerous?

Certainly an easy way to scare parents into forking over a huge check because they caught their kid smoking pot.

-Insight Survivor

This was a commitment given to girls who were deemed “attention seeking” and “void filling” in The Group which meant they were spiritually sick.

-Insight Survivor

Basically you were the common denominator in your own life, that everything happens to you meant you had some part to play in it.

This is commonly most used in reference to childhood abuse, sexual assault, adoption, medical ailments, disabilities, and any hurt feelings.

-Insight Survivor

no matter what happens to you in your life, you always have a part to play even when it comes to rape, molestation, abusive relationships, etc.

-Insight Survivor

people who hang around the group who never used mind-altering chemicals or only did a few times. Generally not considered to be a good thing--viewed as Group groupies.

Usually kids of Staff Members who become staff or big donors Bob roped in, like Wendy (Meehan) Stonebraker, Shelby Stonebraker or Matt Klein.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Cited from Beyond the Yellow Brick Road by Bob Meehan:

The term I use to describe young people who do stupid, irresponsible, even dangerous things is “normally abnormal.” Nearly all of the kids who come into my drug programs are “normally abnormal” teenagers. I believe that understanding this concept is the key to my success as a drug rehabilitator. I am willing to allow teenagers to be what they are - irresponsible, obnoxious, rebellious, immature and inadequate. They can’t be any other way.

A Newcomer to a Group meeting or function.

-Insight Survivor

Older Group is for young adults 18 - 25, though the Program has accepted clients as old as 30.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Bob used to say emmis was a yiddish term he learned in prison to mean “truth”, so emmis became a declaration of honesty or telling the truth in the Group.

The program pretty much stopped using the term after a couple of staff survivors made a website in 2004 called OnTheEmmis.com that was a place for survivors to tell their stories and provided an anonymous message board for parents, staff and group members. Survivors involved in the website contacted the media and had several publications come out in 2005 which resulted in the dissolving of ICECAP and Bob Meehan publicly stepping down from the Program.

-Insight Survivor

Meehan often told his followers that, in prison, if you wanted to signal sincerity, you’d say you were “on the emmis.” (Emmis means “truth” in Yiddish, though it’s unclear if Meehan knew that.) The phrase had become ES slang, used when someone wanted to emphasize that they weren’t joking. “For real, man, this is on the emmis,” an ES acolyte might say.

OntheEmmis.com went live in the spring of 2004. Larsen, once feted by Meehan for his promotional skills, called and emailed other people he knew who’d escaped the Family’s gravitational pull, encouraging them to go to the site. In “no time at all,” Cherry said, roughly 100 people had submitted personal stories. Former ES believers used the site’s message boards to vent or reconnect; parents used them to track down kids they’d lost to Meehan’s pull. “It was a period of empowerment,” Larsen said. “We wanted some justice. We wanted to stand up to these fuckers and say, ‘We’re not scared of you anymore.’”

The website attracted the attention of journalist Abbie Boudreau, a reporter for an ABC affiliate in Phoenix. She crisscrossed the country interviewing people for a segment. Larsen and Cherry spoke to her. Boudreau also cornered Meehan on his way to an AA meeting in Atlanta, where the Family had relocated a few years prior. Meehan turned, saw the camera, and hustled into the building. From there the news crew drove to the local Icecap branch, still called Insight, and knocked on the door.

-The Atavist Magazine

A term in the ESA Survivor Community referencing ex-group and ex-staff members who are no longer a part of the program but are still supportive, enabling, and defends the program. Often still friends with current Staff members or works at a place that employs other ex-members.

-Insight Survivor

People not in the Program anymore that still drink the kool-aid.

-Insight Survivor

Cited from the Cornerstone Program:

The Program utilizes an enthusiastic approach to sobriety. Our approach emphasizes developing positive sober peer relationships, learning to have fun without drugs, and family involvement. Our IOP program consists of:

6-12 weeks of drug and alcohol treatment. We offer a time frame because we base all of our discharge decisions based on the young person’s progress and feedback from families – never on an arbitrary time frame or a family’s finances.

Intensive outpatient group counseling. The young person’s counselor will run a daily treatment session with the young person and age-appropriate peers in treatment. Topics range from the 12-steps and emotional coping skills to peer relationships, developing self-esteem, and communication skills.

Weekly individualized treatment plans. Each week, young people in IOP treatment will meet one-on-one with their counselor to develop a weekly treatment plan based on the goals laid out in their initial assessment. Each appointment consists of evaluating last week’s treatment plan, developing new goals for the week, and listening to the young person’s feedback.

Weekly 12-step meetings and sober social events. During the IOP process, the young person attends at least two 12-step meetings for young people and two sober social events every week. These events and meetings allow young people the freedom to connect with positive, sober young peers who have been in recovery between 1-3 years. Once a young person completes IOP, they are invited to continue with Aftercare treatment sessions for 12 weeks.

Weekly support group meetings for parents. Our parent support group meets each week simultaneously with one of our 12-step meetings for young people. During this meeting, parents can connect with each other, gain valuable insight into their situation, and pick up critical tools to respond to their loved one. Privacy is respected and parents are often surprised at the depth of wisdom they receive at our weekly parent support group meetings. We extend parents the option to attend this meeting for as long as their child is in the program, and even after they leave if the family desires.

Weekly updates for parents. Throughout the treatment process, the young person’s counselor will reach out to parents via phone each week to discuss progress, make suggestions, discuss healthy parental boundaries, and get your feedback. We never want families to feel as though they don’t know what’s going on in the treatment process.

Scheduled appointments with parents. The counselor will also complete an initial appointment to discuss the treatment process, a discharge appointment to discuss the Aftercare process, and a preparatory appointment for the “significant others” meeting. Other in-person appointments will be completed as needed or as requested. We encourage parents to reach out to us when they feel the need for extra support or to have something explained in more detail.

The “Significant Others” meeting. About a week before the end of the treatment process, we will schedule a “significant others” meeting, where a young person gets the chance to make initial amends to the family. These meetings are individualized – they always include parents, but sometimes a sibling or grandparent elects to attend. One of our primary goals at The Cornerstone Program is to help the family come back together. While we do believe that rebuilding trust can be a slow process, we want to work with families to set the stage for fulfilling and honest family relationships going forward.

Individualized discharge plans. As no two families are exactly alike, no two discharge plans should be exactly alike. The discharge plan provides a roadmap for critical next steps such as:

When will the young person return to school?

What will the young person’s financial situation look like? Do they need to get a job?

Should they move out of their parents’ house or stay at home? If they need to move out, where will they go? How long should this take?

Do they have a plan in place to manage the stress of staying sober without the all-day support of being in treatment?

Who will they call if they find themselves in a tough situation?

What will they do to continue growing in recovery?

These questions, and any others that apply, will be addressed during the discharge planning process. Finally, the young person will be discharged from treatment and they will enter our 12 week Aftercare program.

thecornerstoneprogram.com

OP counselor is who runs group therapy every day, and gives out weekly treatment plans to everyone in outpatient. They wear many hats though, like in smaller groups we organized all the functions and ran steering committee too.

-Insight Staff Survivor

is the group kid’s primarily counselor for the time in their appointment. has group sessions 5 days a week with one individual one where they give them a “treatment” plan for the week. does their group aftercare as well. their main focus is on the kids with 6 months or less of sobriety but primarily those IN treatment. the outpatient counselor is the most “on call” staff member. but everyone is expected to show up when needed (like helping to pain the shop on your day off, or set up a function, etc)

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Op counselor runs Op and usually collaborates with the Senior counselor and/or Director. The OP counselor is usually considered like a God amongst the parents and the kids too because they are really the face of the program to everyone who comes through.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

To take ownership of your role in a situation. However, often paired with the mentality “No Victims, Only Volunteers,” essentially meaning that one needs to take ownership for things that may not even be in their control.

It can be applied to situations where one was abused and needs to “own their part” in the abuse, which could be anything to the clothes they were wearing or being in a specific location at a certain time.

-Insight Survivor

A way of doing what your parents ask and in return getting something out of it to benefit yourself (often times used in accordance to say if you do something for your parent and then ask for something in return it’s a given depending on how well you can manipulate them to let you do things you wouldn’t normally do)

-FullCircle Survivor

presented in outpatient. It’s a concept that says you should do and say things that your parents will appreciate, as to allow you to remain in the Group and gain things you want. Essentially a form of manipulation of the parents. One should also shield the parents from the ‘fun felonies’ so to not scare them

-Insight Survivor

not arguing with/always being nice to your parents no matter how shitty they are and acting like the perfect child so they’ll let you do what you want aka go out with the group till 3am . that’s how it was explained to me but idk if there’s a better explanation out there

-Crossroads Survivor

*See the Parent Page

After 30 days of involvement in our parent support group, parents receive a ‘parent’s heart’. This heart is made from carved wood and suspended by a piece of leather, this symbol features an embossed monkey’s fist in the center. It is a symbol of support from parents to the young person being pulled ashore in recovery. (Cited from thecornerstoneprogram.com)

Used to describe any activity outside of meetings and functions, where the Group gets together to do something fun. Usually involves hanging out at a Group house, loitering outside a gas station, or somewhere that involves trespassing, or getting into some “Fun Felony” activities.

Just like Crashing Out and Reach Out, this is the third primary suggestion from Staff to deal with suicidal ideation, self harm, detoxing, abuse at home, sexual assault from another group member, and any other egregious problem that might arise in the group - go party!

-Insight Survivor

A bastardized version of the study explained in Outpatient where a man rang a bell every time he fed a dog, which resulted in the dog’s mouth salivating at the sound of a bell.

It was incorrectly used to explain conditioning, but usually only applied to talks about porn and if anyone was questioning their sexuality.

Basically, if someone thought they were bisexual or gay, they probably saw too many naked people of the same sex and accidentally associated that image with the physical act of masturbation. This explanation also implied that since a person was conditioned into homosexuality, they could also be condition themselves “back” to being straight.

-The Pathway Program Survivor

a phrase that counselors used to tell you that if you feel as if a person other than yourself isn’t meeting expectations or you worry to much about their actions, it was your own issue of control rather than you knowing that person well enough to know that they are not okay(struggled with this one a lot because of how much I care about others, it was a negative term to tell me to stop being controlling especially if I were to point out behaviors of other that shouldn’t just be cast aside)

-FullCircle Survivor

When you’re at sea, the sail determines which direction you’re going in. Turning the sail turns the boat.

Honesty is your sail when it comes to sobriety. When you are dishonest or withholding the truth, you put a pinhole in your sail.

If you do it 2-3 times, you probably won’t notice that the boat is moving in a different direction. But the more holes that get poked in the sail, it will slowly start to go off the path you’re trying to take.

You will slowly start going off course and then end up in a completely different place than where you meant to go.

By withholding information, being dishonest, you are slowly changing the course of your boat/sobriety.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

recovery is the flag of your sailboat and if you have inconsistencies in your program I.e you’ve lied about something, your higher power wasn’t connected with you, or you had things you kept to yourself, then you essentially made recovery “harder” because these things weren’t dealt with in a way that the group deemed worthy

-FullCircle Survivor

The honeymoon phase when you feel like you are working a good program.

This is not necessarily a good thing. Staff and Group members would point out that you are actually NOT working a good program, but you are just being delusional and “on a pink cloud.”

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

Acronym for Properly Interpret Social Situations. Typically was used to say that one should respond to situations in which the Group would see fit.

It is also applied when Group members are interacting in the outside world - subliminally implying not to be so culty as to raise red flags to the general public.

-Insight Staff Survivor

Also its mostly used to monitor girls clothing. If someone is dressed “inappropriately” by group standards (and not even like revealing - but like having a different style) you are told you are not pissing.

-FullCircle Survivor

A pod was given to someone who had gotten 30 days of sobriety. After a meeting, 3 people would share on their behalf, usually talking about how much they’ve grown. The parents would come from the parent meeting, and would often be asked to speak after the 3 had spoken.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

*See Fist for other Enthusiastic Sobriety Programs

Cornerstone Team Counseling in Texas would assign Outpatient kids to to seek out a Priest, Preacher and a Rabbi to talk to them about God and their addiction for a 3rd Step Assignment.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

a portion of the God Memo stipulating to be yourself, but only to be applied if it’s in accordance with the group’s standards

-Crossroads Survivor

Being in The Program vs. being in The Group.

Being in The Group means you are a client of an Enthusiastic Sobriety Alternative Peer Group.

Being in The Program is more commonly referenced to being on Staff. The Staff are no longer in “the group” they are now in “the program.”

Being in The Program can be used universally for Group members and Staff. But being a group member is solely referencing clients.

-Insight Survivor

An underage female that basically was “asking for it” or “wanted sex” when discussing female bodies in general. Since you weren’t allowed to wear certain things, if you did wear them, you were a “prosti-tot”. If you were raped, were you a prosti-tot?

-Insight Survivor

A game created in The Insight Program in Raleigh NC, where you take a bucket and put it across the room and everyone lines up to take turns throwing a ball into the bucket.

However, when it is your turn to throw the ball, you pick someone else, declare a dare and shake on it. If you make the shot, the person has to do the dare.

Dares have included: jumping in a pool nude during the winter, taking mystery shots of a concoction of liquids, being waterboarded, or being slapped in the face with another person’s penis.

-Insight Survivor

Basically, the driving force behind anything a man does is “pussy” and all women are literally sitting on a gold mine.

Female Steering Committee members are told by Staff to use their “Pussy Power” to manipulate and recruit newcomers into the Group.

-Cornerstone Survivor

“P” Power: (Penis/Pussy Power) terms started by Meehan to describe how members (and particularly those in leadership positions) were expected to use their sexuality to entice new recruits to join the group.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

it’s pretty much about how the group cant go on without the girls, like we control the guys in a way and how the group is doing, if all the girls are close the group will be on the right track but if the girls aren’t close it throws the whole group off track

-Crossroads Survivor

an indefinite-length group meeting of staff or steering committee members that was officially stated to be about focusing on the primary purpose of reaching the addict that still suffered and was actually about torturing /breaking down the members of staff and steering committee in order to align them to the group leader’s control.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

all of steering committee meets up once a month/twice a month sometimes. the main goal of it was to find ways to get certain newcomers to stay/be more involved/stay away from certain people. we would talk about newcomers and non winners to figure out how we could intervene to keep them ‘on the right track.’ and example was no one on steering committee could go to sleep and girls night until so and so was asleep. we were acting as the eyes and ears of the staff.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

Send us a message below to add “Q” words, phrases or meeting topics

Talking to newcomers, talking to those who are deemed not working a good program, or someone who works a good program if you are struggling.

Along with “Crashing Out,” this is the main suggestion for suicidal ideation, self harm, detoxing, medical ailments, abuse at home, sexual assault from a group member and every conceivable egregious problem that could arise - just talk to your fellow peers and get out of yourself.

-Insight Survivor

This usually was followed with an action, steering specifically was pushed to “reach out” to anyone struggling as a way to insure that anyone who was struggling or on watch by the counselors was paired with a group member that was doing much better, it often times was looked at as an act of good (more so it was a way to control peers and put people in copious amounts of stress because you tend to focus less on yourself)

-FullCircle Survivor

In training, it was explained to us how sex works and said that God had a choice to make when deciding how men and women would interact sexually. If he made men and women to both want sex all of the time, the world would be overpopulated. If he made men to want sex all of the time and women never to want it, then sex would always be rape. But if men want it all of the time and women only want it SOME of the time, then the world wouldn’t be too overpopulated and sex wouldn’t always be rape.

Basically, men want go all the time and your actions as a women (spoken or unspoken) are the red light / green light.

For example, if you choose to wear “provocative” clothing like yoga pants or god forbid you sleep in the same bed as your partner, you are giving them the green light to have sex with you. Men can’t help themselves.

They also told us in training that men choose to be gay, because men only want sex and there’s no one acting as a “red light.” So, gay men get to have sex all of the time, whereas straight men don’t.

They also said lesbians are barely interested in sex, since women are “red lights.” For women, sex is all about feeling emotionally safe, which lesbians don’t feel safe with men because they were probably abused at one point.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Confronted intensely, possibly yelled at for some action that was considered very fucked up. Completely demeaning and belittling, all done to scare you into “behaving.”

-Freeway Survivor

hot-seating a director. Roasts are held in the presence of staff to indicate to them that a director (or directing) are no longer “made” and will be getting their program taken or otherwise excommunicated and the general staff better fall into line and decide whether they are staying with the group proper or being axed with the roasted director. In the case of Meehan/Stonebraker themselves, getting roasted by their second in command indicates the group overall is splitting into two or more separate factions because the beta commander is leading a coup.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

Devoting abnormal amounts of positive attention to newcomers in order to recruit/indoctrinate/entice them into joining or staying in the group. This term usually referred to what the steering committee was expected to do, though not exclusively.

-Pathway Survivor

that one charismatic kid in the group who is the biggest dissenter and leads others to rebel against the group’s authority. The Rock Star is the one the counselors go after first to ‘take them down’ and persuade them to use their force of personality FOR the group’s interests instead of AGAINST it. Rock Stars are almost universally put on steering committee (SC), volunteer staff, or in training immediately or shortly after entering the group.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

a function that happens on new years eve and starts at 7pm and goes till 7 am the next morning for a total of 12 hours. during this time, we have dinner and breakfast (normally brought by parents) a staff member shares their life story, we have a love meeting and step meetings, and we also have a huge dance party that lasts for a good 2 hours.

-FullCircle Survivor

Being a safe girl or safe guy meant you were not deemed attention seeking or Staff/Steering Committee felt you do not “game” or flirt with anyone of the opposite sex.

You have safely oppressed your sexuality that you can now have friends of help members of the opposite sex.

Typically “unsafe” (ranging from flirty to sexual predators) guys or girls are assigned to talk to the safe guy / girl to learn how to be safe. Sometimes, Safe Girls have to talk to sexual predators in The Group to help change them.

-Pathway Survivor

A group of people in the group you tell your secrets or concerns to. Good in theory, but in the group it was used as a way to control your actions.

-FullCircle Survivor

3-5 people who you go to for talks and advice first. Usually on Staff or Steering.

You have to let Staff know who is on your safety net and they usually check to see if you are actually talking with them regularly.

-Insight Survivor

the whole purpose of a safety "net" is that a net can catch you. a rope cannot do that. so having a safety net is a group of people who you can talk to and who will always be there for you incase you "fall.”

-FullCircle Survivor

Refers to an older term for the office and “shop” location. The “shop” is a current term to reference the Program location.

-Insight Staff Survivor

saying that you shouldn’t save face or try to uphold your reputation before you save your foundation because saving face is considered to be dishonest

-FullCircle Survivor

Members of the Group who are involved in the scaring aspect of a Fear Mission. They come up with staged traumatic events, sometimes with the help of Staff, to scare new people or any members who were unfortunate enough to not be informed about Fear Missions.

-Insight Survivor

Typically in Cornerstone Team Counseling in Texas, a scrubs commitment is given to people who like to dress well or be fashionable. They would be given scrubs and told to wear them until their ego was deflated.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

Anytime you were not completely involved in whatever the Group was doing. If you didn’t want to dance - selfing out. Wearing headphones - selfing out. Reading a book - selfing out. Drawing - selfing out.

-Crossroads Survivor

Anytime you weren’t doing what somebody wanted you to do you were selfing out. I remember the first night I actually went home after a function instead of hangout, which I went to every single day. I got relentlessly shit on, this was after almost three months of being in the group. I was shamed for wanting to take care of myself. I have no hobbies anymore and I don’t know how to be alone since I’m conditioned to believe that it’s wrong.

-FullCircle Survivor

I got relentlessly teased about fucking READING. I was a huge book nerd/reader before the group and have never picked it back up the same way.

-Insight Survivor

In Cornerstone Team Counseling in Texas, Staff would assign Outpatient kids to call certain Alumni and talk to them about self-worth.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

Highest authority with group members and staff (outside of the director) will likely be the one kicking people out or leading “you don’t want to be here…” purposes. has individual appointments. often times does the initial interventions.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

I think they only exist in cities where the director is more hands off, like STL. Amy was always too busy making friends with cops and doing cop-sponsored events to be too involved in the day to day running of the program.

-Crossroads Survivor

Senior counselor is usually the leader of a specific group, North Older Group, etc. They have initial appointments and decide if someone can come to their first meeting.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

A break down of what it means to “game” with someone, that all interactions with that person are manufactured with the intent of playing sexual mind games with them.

-Pathway Survivor

When a person, who doesn’t have a car, is a particular location and got left there alone without a ride home.

Some Group members have had to say the night at a 24 hour diner because they got “shafted.”

-Insight Survivor

When you tell someone in the Group that you have a romantic interest in them, and the feelings are reciprocated. Usually this is followed by a date if it is approved by the Group. It is expected you go on a date and if you continue to go on multiple dates, your feelings are shared indirectly by saying yes to more dates.

If it is not approved by the Group, and there is flirting involved, it can be called “gaming.”

Almost always considered negative, weird, creepy or fucked up to share feelings.

-Crossroads Survivor

What you are supposed to do as a Steering Committee member or Staff during Group related activities. Once you’ve been promoted to this leadership role, your problems don’t matter and need to be stuffed down so you can devote everything you have to the Program.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

A transgender person that made the group uncomfortable because of their transphobia.

-Insight Survivor

The Shop is often an interchangeable word for the Satellite - however usually does not refer to the offices or outpatient room, but the warehouse in the back that typically has a coffee bar, couches, video games, music blasting, and some other things like a foosball table.

If you have nothing to do during the day, you go hangout at The Shop. It’s the best place for loitering.

Sometimes Functions are held at the shop.

-Insight Survivor

often times they are a junior counselor as well. they run the coffee shop during business hours, meetings, and functions. usually host the events (them or the junior counselor). shop staff answers to him. will have individual appointments but a lot of the time is just there to distract/have fun with them. can sometimes do aftercare appointments. usually a man and it’s a job that requires a lot of manual labor.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Jr. Counselor and shop guy were kind of the same thing. Just there to be available to the support group whenever the shop was open. Also did most of the function planning and stuff. Not every city has one, only larger groups.

-Insight Staff Survivor

Shop guys is basically a Junior counselor but they run the shop and make sure they have enough food/drinks, hangs out with the Group when they are at the shop, sometimes plans functions but depends on the State and what other staff they have. They might rotate to different group meetings and functions instead of being assigned one specific group (like OG vs YG).

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

The mentality Steering Committee or Staff members should have at any group related activity, as their purpose is to “shelve their shit” and make it about others. Once the activity starts, it’s “showtime.”

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Kids in the group deemed so fucked up that they need to go to Step 2

Staff members deemed so fucked up that they need to WORK at Step 2, usually for years, while newer Staff come in and get better paying positions.

-Insight Staff Survivor

Cited from the Cornerstone Program.

The “Significant Others” meeting. About a week before the end of the treatment process, we will schedule a “significant others” meeting, where a young person gets the chance to make initial amends to the family. These meetings are individualized – they always include parents, but sometimes a sibling or grandparent elects to attend. One of our primary goals at The Cornerstone Program is to help the family come back together. While we do believe that rebuilding trust can be a slow process, we want to work with families to set the stage for fulfilling and honest family relationships going forward.

thecornerstoneprogram.com

The driving force behind anything a man does is “pussy” and all women are literally sitting on a gold mine.

Staff encourage female Steering Committee members to use their “pussy power” to manipulate and recruit newcomers into the Group.

-Cornerstone Survivor

Freeway participants whom staff deemed in need of something more than counseling and community were sent to the Sober Live-In Center, or SLIC, a crumbling, rented compound outside Escondido also known as the Ranch. A 30-day stay cost upwards of $5,000, according to several people involved at the time.

Step Two, a residential rehab facility modeled on the failed SLIC Ranch in California.

-The Atavist

phrase used to describe when someone casually admits to a ‘bad’ thing they did in a way to not bring attention to themselves. Often used to describe when someone cops to getting high at a Campout or Round Robin in one of the honesty meetings, as one will receive less negative attention for doing so in these platforms

-Insight Survivor

used to bully any opposite sex pairs suspected of gaming or who are actually in a relationship who get caught hanging out together when not on an official Group approved date or date night

-Insight Survivor

those who are not ‘working a program’ and frequently hangout with each other

-Insight Survivor

A metaphor explaining that our bodies are spacesuits and need to be maintained properly before going into space (the world).

Used to tell men, not women, why they should masturbate.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Instead of watching porn, Staff encourage male group members to masturbate to past sexual encounters or to think about other girls in the group.

Staff encourage boys to masturbate to the girls in the group because they represent spiritually fit or safe women to be attracted to, unlike the women in porn.

Girls are actively discouraged from masturbation.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

Healthy in the eyes of the Group. Totally conformed to the Group doctrine and you behavior is deemed acceptable.

-Crossroads Survivor

Used to describe engaging in casual sex, as you don’t have sex for “love” but, according to the program, for “sport.”

A select group of clients who are picked by Staff that are believed to be best examples of “working the program” and are chosen as peer leaders to fellow clients. The Steering Committee attends a bi-weekly Purpose meeting with one Staff member leading the meeting. The Steering Committee is typically expected to do chores, lead peer meetings, keep watch over fellow clients and report back to Staff, as well as host functions when Staff are unavailable.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

I felt like Steering Committee was the honors class of the program. It was for people who were extra good at reaching out and usually first picks for sponsors.

We were required to clean and set up functions. We had biweekly Purpose meetings, which felt like OP all over again. Sometimes the topic would be program related, sometimes it was about a specific person. We would talk about others in the group and judge their program. We decided who needed to be shunned and “watched” and who needed love.

-Cornerstone Survivor

I got put on Steering with about 8 months sober. The senior counselor had openly talked about putting me on for a few months before it happened. We would talk about who I thought I should replace.

I wanted unconditional love, confidence, the validation of my peers and the staff I idolized.

I see now that they sell you a dream and keep you sick intentionally. I was put on Steering right after I was finally allowed to date. I felt like I made it. All the things that were withheld from me were finally mine. I felt powerful.

We knew everything about everyone. We heard about newcomers first, we were first to know if someone bailed. We were instructed to love karma certain kids and alienate others.

If someone bailed, we were told to spread the word and we would parrot back personal details we heard from staff.

“Did you hear about so-and-so bailed? Yeah, they couldn’t stop being a fearhole and wouldn’t turn their life over completely about…” their abusive dad, or rape, or whatever insanely personal information we were told from staff.

I know we got a mini version of a Staff Purpose. We were alternately ripped off and stroked. I felt like a fraud the whole time.

-Crossroads Survivor

Step 2 counselors are pretty much just people who make sure that the people in Step 2 are having as good a time as they can without hurting themselves or doing something that’s not allowed, like listening to rap music lol. Part babysitter, part bouncer, part driver. Mostly smoke a lot of cigs and get paid very little.

-Insight Staff Survivor

“the sickest of the sickest,” usually an entry level job where your primary purpose is to entertain and supervise those in step 2. often works at step 1 as well, where supervision is much more relaxed. not encouraged to interfere with treatment process by counseling them. instead, you “party them up” but occasionally have to put out fires. you’re the outpatient counselors eyes and ears and are supposed to keep them informed of how the kids are doing outside of that time. expected to dedicate time to the rest of the group as well (through individual appointments and entertainment) but not really during a shift with step 2, because you’re watching them.

-Step 2 Staff Survivor

the group viewed the idea of frequenting any of these places as negative because of the atmosphere and people inhabiting them, why hang out with drinking people if you don’t do so yourself, or the group would use the idea that ”everyone gets high in those places”

-FullCircle Survivor

these were things or people you listed off in your second step that may or may not have had a negative impact on you (often encouraged to write these things out just in case later down the road you chose to revisit these things in a healthy way on your own, because if that did happen you may not be performing to group standards)

-FullCircle Survivor

Step Two Recovery Center to provide comprehensive young adult and teen residential treatment.

The residential program for teens and young adults is six weeks long. Like our intensive outpatient programs, young people are placed in age-appropriate residential facilities:

• Teens age 13-17 attend treatment in Arizona at our Step Two West location.

• Young adults age 18-25 attend treatment in Georgia in our Step Two South location.

Cited from theinsightprogram.com

“Stick with winners” was ultimately another vague measure of someone’s “spiritual fitness.” Someone was a “winner” when they were deemed so by the group; they were doing “well” by the group’s measure. As such, no one outside the group could really be a winner because. they wouldn’t have been working a program - regardless of whether they had any substance abuse issues or not.

-Cornerstone Staff Survivor

Bob Meehan had a band called Stone Sober and they recorded an album in 1998.

Songs Included:

1 Devil's Got Cocaine

2 Boulevard

3 Booze Blues

4 You Can Get High

5 Desperado Waitin'

6 On A Train

7 Slippin' And Slidin'

8 Changin' My Mind

9 Asskicker

10 Sober Up

11 Relationship

The band consisted of other Staff Members - mostly the “Family”

Bass – Glenn Schendel**

Drums – Ryan Delaney

Engineer – Andy Joslin (3), Brian Swift (2)

Guitar – Fred Comparin, George Miller (25)

Keyboards, Vocals – Jake Conway

Lead Vocals – Clint Stonebraker**

Producer – Bob Meehan (2)

Vocals – Wendy Stonebraker** (tracks: 2, 8)

**Still On Staff

-Insight Survivor

an impromptu meeting where members of the Group describe a person, who is also present, in a monologue before naming the person. Typically, many overly nice things are said about each other, but jabs at personal shortcomings can also come up

-Insight Survivor

another meeting topic; the idea stems from the thought that if you have something going on however small and don’t inform others then you walk around with “a tack in the foot” which then makes things increasingly harder for you to face(another thing that does make sense in theory but in use of the program it was a way to again get as much information about you as they could to then utilize it to manipulate you later in your time in the program)

-Full Circle Survivor

“Can we talk?” It was quite literally talking, but would usually happen at Coffee and would be a deep 1 hour or more talks about anything and everything going on and getting advice.

These efforts groomed Group members to begin acting like Staff themselves, setting them up to dole out advice and pseudo drug treatment.

-Crossroads Survivors

*Also see “Gnar Gnar”

Someone who is likely considered to be attention seeking, or simply bullied for something they did (or didn't do), subjective determination, at a meeting or function the whole group might chant "that guy" at you if you were late or stumbled over your words.

-Insight Survivor

Typically in the Texas program, Cornerstone Team Counseling, during car rides, girl’s night, girl functions or girls retreats.

A girl would say “TOPS OFF” and everyone would take their tops off and whoever refused would be forcibly stripped of their top by other girls.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

Meehan Institute for Counselor Training. A six-week counselor training course that is only open to recruited clients of Enthusiastic Sobriety Programs.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

It was about 10 questions long, the first one being ‘what happened’. you would do one over a traumatic event (most often sexual assault). you had to write at least a paragraph for each, sparing no detail. the real kicked was the question ‘who was to blame’.

But basically you had to relive a traumatic event that was most likely going to be sexual assault and then read it to the op group which was co-ed and then receive feedback on it. the feedback i got one time FROM KIRK was that i obviously didn’t do a thorough job because i wasn’t crying.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

Usually done at girls night or guys night, or on retreats in Cornerstone Team Counseling in Texas.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

A word used to explain that you’re not actually bisexual or gay, instead you’re so spiritually sick that you are willing to “try” anything sexually.

-Pathway Survivor

something people often used to reference you letting go of feelings, emotions or events; it went hand in hand with anything that you may be stressed on that group or counselors found unnecessary to worry about; this also was used as a way to say that whatever was happening “was out of your control so why waste the time feeling emotions on the subject”

-FullCircle Survivor

Someone who only works the first step and the last step, or admitting your problem with substance use, but jumping directly to working the twelfth step without working any of the other steps in between.

Frequently used if you’re being of service or sponsoring multiple people, but the counselors disagreed with your day-to-day life.

Sponsoring all the YG girls, working full time, attending all meetings, but planning on graduating from the Group? You’re a two-stepper and your program is “fucked”, you’re only sober for the good feelings of reaching out and you’re filling a void. You’ll probably “get drunk” if you’re a 2-stepper.

-Insight Survivor

“Uber” or “Give Your Full Address” is a common meeting topic.

The analogy goes: if you call an Uber to 1345 St. in your city, but don’t share the zip code, the drive is probably going to go to the wrong address because there’s five of those addresses in different neighborhoods and you didn’t specify enough for them to get to the right place or get the right direction.

Essentially, when you’re filling someone in you need to tell them EVERYTHING or else they can’t give you the right advice because they don’t know the whole story.

“Dude, give your full address” means “tell me EVERYTHING and EVERY detail or else I’m gonna have the story twisted and give you the wrong direction”

This is another effort to blur boundaries and dissolve the individual as every single thought or memory needs to be shared, judged and critiqued by the group as a whole.

-Pathway Staff Survivor

there was also a thing called underwings/overwings where a member of committee would take someone ‘under their wing’ and be responsible for basically whatever they did

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

this term refers to the Group’s use of vault hypnosis in individual and group sessions with staff, always conducted by a member of the inner circle of the Family.

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

*See Hypnosis

“Did you get the vein?”

The vein appears on Kirk Campbell’s forehead - typically in Outpatient or Staff Meetings - where he screams so much out of anger that a vein protrudes and pulses from his forehead.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

Anything that you do too much, outside of any Group sanctioned activity, is an attempt to fill a void in oneself that we’re led to believe only the Group can fill.

Examples of Void Filling behavior: reading, video games, listening to Music on your headphones, talking too much to one particular person, sex, applying to college, spending time at home, sleeping.

-Crossroads Program Survivor

An extension of the Baseball and Basketball analogy. A volleyball player is neither a baseball player (sober person in the Group) or a basketball player (drug addict) but an old friend that you have likely known for a long time and who doesn’t get high (a perfectly fine person to associate with) but isn’t in the Group and doesn’t experience addiction or sobriety. They might be good people, but don’t know how to “play baseball” (be in the Group) so you shouldn’t hang out with them either, because anyone outside the Group is detrimental to your sobriety.

-Pathway Survivor

describing someone who was in between fully devoting their time to the group or quote unquote “wanting their old life back” anyone waking on the fence was told to jump off on either side because it was considered selfish to have to consider if the program was a good step for them

-FullCircle Survivor

Walking the fence is about being fully invested in the group and that if you have a life outside of the group you are walking the fence to the outside and any little thing could push you over to wrong side

-Cornerstone Survivor

As a reminder of their promise to enter drug rehab and remain clean for 30-days, teens and young adults receive a ‘wanna ball’ which is a round musket ball that they can carry with them.

(Cited from thecornerstoneprogram.com)

a lead musket round that you accept as a commitment to stay sober for 30 days, given only to newcomers, used to be announced/asked at every meeting of anyone needed one as a way for group members to "get honest" publicly about relapsing, but it was determined that this could be "attention seeking" so they started only giving them to newcomers.

-Crossroads Survivor

We regularly held meetings on “wants vs. needs.” This would be also brought into conversations to “realign” you with your “only real need” to be sober and be in the Group. Anything deemed to be a want - anything that took you away from time with the Group or promoted individuality - was not encouraged.

Wants were shamed, as if “giving into” them was sinful or not “God’s will.” You would be reminded that something like missing an old hobby or time for yourself was only a “want” and was therefore not vital to your life. The things you needed to remain focused on were only needs - things that kept you sober and in the Group.

Everything else was a distraction. This really discouraged you from any individualism or interactions that might conflict with the Group. Even having a job was only a “want” and was only condoned if the timing didn’t conflict with the many required Group activities.

This is another way you become convinced it is your choice to be there, your choice to live and behave this way, because you are stripped of anything that would encourage you to express individuality - you only need the Group.

-Crossroads Survivor

a phrase used to describe stories of times from before the Group. Notoriously told by newcomers. If someone accuses you of telling War Stories, it has a negative connotation

-Insight Survivor

when members of the program share stories about things they did or things that happened while they were in active addiction.

-FullCircle Survivor

another love bombing technique employed by the group that incorporates necklaces made of yarn with pieces attached to them that are exchanged at round robins.

-Pathway Survivor

Staying up for over 24 hours.

This is usually encouraged and celebrated as a way to have fun in the group. It’s a pretty insidious way to make people emotionally and psychologically vulnerable, and sleep deprivation is considered as a means of torture in the outside world, but in the program is considered “fun” and posed as a choice.

At certain long functions like Campout, Round Robin etc., wedging gets turned into a contest and those who wedge longer may feel a sense of pride for doing so. Wedging notably enhances the feelings of emotions, and makes one more susceptible to “copping” to any dishonesties or susceptible to being coerced into false memories.

-Insight Survivor

Something (again) that is not quite as healthy or "spiritually fit" as something else - ie "you are being weird" or "participating in xyz is a little weird" - very vague, subjective.

When I left staff, I was with a group of AA members, one person made a joke that would not have been considered acceptable ("not PISSing") in the group and I told my sponsor (a former staff member as well) that I thought the joke and the person who told it was "weird," she asked why I thought it was weird or what was weird about it, when I found I had no reason to support it being "weird," it was possibly just something I wasn't comfortable joking about, everything I thought I knew unraveled before my eyes. "Weird" wasn't a thing in the real world.

-Cornerstone Staff Survivor

a parent who has a lot of money and resources. Staff were trained to look for and recruit these people for how they could be used to further the leader’s interests. Whale’s kids were given special attention and honors. Whale’s children were assigned specific directors to “take them under their wing.”

-Crossroads Staff Survivor

Step Two in the program says “We Stick with Winners in Order to Grow.”

When you first join the Program, only people in the Group are winners and you must cut ties with all old friends (drug users or not) and just “stick with the winners.”

As you spend more time in The Group, there is a subset of “winners” who are deemed healthy by Staff - typically everyone on Steering Committee.

If you are not a winner, you could be outcast from The Group, deemed “That Guy/Girl” and lowkey shunned or uninvited to hangouts. This social hierarchy either pushes people out or forces people to keep buying in.

-Insight Survivor

A list every newcomer had to make with their sponsor. This list had each group and the people they were allowed to hangout with. Only winners were on this list and if they were caught hanging out without a winner present then they would face consequences and be deemed dishonest.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

actions you can take which will deem you to be a Winner

-Insight Survivor

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a way to state that if you happen to be friends with someone who may not meet group’s expectations then you yourself probably didn’t meet the expectations of the group, this term was often used as a way to group you into one general idea of who you are as an individual and if you were not friends predominantly with “winners” it was often frowned upon

-FullCircle Survivor

In a YouTube video titled “Meehan on Parents,” Meehan says, “when I say there are no victims, only volunteers, I take that all the way down. My belief says we as spirits chose our parents, in order to be properly set up to be aware of those things we had to work on.”

Staff are made to read Louise Hay, “You Can Heal Your Life” which states:

We have chosen to come here to learn a particular lesson that will advance us upon our spiritual, evolutionary pathway. We choose our sex, our color, our country, and then we look around for the particular parents who will mirror the pattern we are bringing in to work on in this lifetime.

Younger Group is for clients 12 - 17 years of age.

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Lower class people who don’t strive for the betterment of themselves (used to describe anyone not following the groups way of thinking usually)

-FullCircle Survivor

Anyone outside The Program can be “3 Degrees Off.” Their thinking is not quite right, definitely not in alignment with the Group thinking, after a long time of being “3 Degrees Off” you will very far off what the Group seems acceptable.

-Crossroads Survivor

A conception of God that is 3 dimensional. God is without, within and between.

The “between” refers to the conversations one has with their peers in the Group, meaning that God is speaking through them. Therefore, taking a Group member’s advice or direction is equivalent to living in God’s Will.

-Crossroads Survivor

The “only” rules in the Group: No Fighting, No Fixing (getting high), No Fucking.

Makes Group members into think there are no other rules, despite the overwhelming undue influence in every aspect of their lives.

-Insight Survivor

An explanation that people have no control over their first thought. However, if a person thinks about something longer than 3 seconds, they are choosing to think about it and that is when they should share it with another person.

This is a highly unhealthy expectation that dissolves boundaries and individualism, that then becomes weaponized as being “dishonest” or keeping secrets.

-Pathway Survivor

Cited from Bob Meehan’s book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road:

As parents, we have limitations. I tell people “You’ve got six shots in your gun; be careful where you use them.” Are you going to waste a shot on his hair? On her interest in astrology? On their language? On their cigarette smoking? On the way they dress? On the quality of the literature they read? These are important decisions to make. If you use up the shots on these things, sooner or later you will have to pull out a second gun, which will make you a tyrant in the eyes of your children.

Use shots as sparingly as possible… I encourage parents to be tolerant of “normally abnormal” behavior.

A meeting topic describing that days have different fluctuations of how good or bad they are on a scale of 1-10, it taught us to not live in those days as much because the reality is you never have security in living in a “10” but you are not aloud to feel the emotions of living in a “1” (ten being your best and one being your worst)

-FullCircle Survivor

Reaching out to the “addict who still suffers” for the specific purpose of having sex with them. On the surface, this is highly shamed and deemed wrong. However, when the situation actually occurs, the newcomer, specifically female-identified, are blamed for attracting the attention, interaction or assault. Slut shaming then prevails.

-Insight Survivor

A punishment, typically for sexual assault perpetrators in the Group, to go to 30 AA or NA meetings for 30 days as a temporary distance from the Group. Sometimes the commitment or punishment is just a 7 & 7.

-Insight Survivor

Going to 90 meetings in 30 days. Typically used as a punishment in the Texas Alternative Peer Groups when anyone fell off their commitments, relapsed, or was new to Outpatient.

-Cornerstone Team Counseling Survivor

Another meeting topic that means you only have a small part to play in The Group and when you don’t have a lot to give, you give everything - time, money, talent, energy, spirituality.

-Crossroads Survivor