Enthusiastic Sobriety Sexual Assault Support
Sexual Assault Survivor Organizations
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Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE, online.rainn.org y rainn.org/es) in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country and operates the DoD Safe Helpline for the Department of Defense. RAINN also carries out programs to prevent sexual violence, help survivors, and ensure that perpetrators are brought to justice.
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1in6
If you’re a man who has experienced sexual abuse or assault, you’re not alone.
We’re here to support you in your path to a happier, healthier future.The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences live healthier, happier lives. Our mission also includes serving family members, friends, partners, and service providers by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.
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FORGE
FORGE reduces the impact of trauma on trans/non-binary survivors and communities by empowering service providers, advocating for systems reform, and connecting survivors to healing possibilities. FORGE strives to create a world where ALL voices, people and bodies are valued, respected, honored, and celebrated; where every individual feels safe, supported, respected, and empowered.
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me too.
The healing journey is not a linear one; you may start, stop, and then start again. Your path is YOURS — no matter where you enter or exit, be encouraged in knowing that you’ve made it this far, and there are resources to keep you going. These tools were created with survivors in mind and heart, from advocates, organizers, wellness circle facilitators, and journalists. Each toolkit focuses on topics that are critical to the healing process.
Insight Staff Survivor
When discussing "No Victims, Only Volunteers" at Pathway, a former counselor explained to group members that there's a huge difference between someone's Grandma getting raped by a home intruder and a girl who willingly puts herself in that position by going to a party and drinking too much. Clint Stonebraker and his wife, Wendy, defended rapists during an Insight staff purpose. They explained that rape is far from the worst thing that can happen to a woman. This conversation was part of a larger topic, which was centered around how we need to make sure we stay strong, or else we'll crumble like "snowflakes."
Sexual Assault & PTSD
Content Warning: Survivor Experience
“When I was in Pathway, an older boy was kicked out for having sex with a minor; however, he was transferred to Full Circle, which often has joint functions with Pathway.”
— Pathway Staff Survivor
Guide to Recovery
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You have the right to be believed.
You have the right to be given the same credibility as any other crime victim.
You have the right to seek and receive help.
You have the right to courteous, efficient treatment.
You have the right to be treated with dignity and respect, without prejudice against race, class, lifestyle, age, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or occupation.
You have the right to accurate information, presented in a way that you understand.
You have the right to ask questions.
You have the right to make your own decisions.
You have the right to change your mind.
You have the right to get help and support from others.
You have the right to heal.
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The first step in recovery is to know the facts. “Sexual assault” is a general term that includes: rape, incest, child molestation, marital rape, date rape, sexual harassment, sodomy, sexual abuse, voyeurism, and indecent exposure.
Sexual assault is a violent act committed primarily by a perpetrator who needs to feel powerful and in control by forcing someone else to participate in unwanted sexual activity.
Often, the victim fears for their life or physical well-being and feels that there is no choice but to do what the attacker wants. But submission does not equal consent. If you submit, it does not mean that you agreed to or accepted the situation. A victim is never responsible for being sexually assaulted. The responsibility for the assault lies with the attacker.
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After you have been sexually assaulted, it is important to see a doctor before washing or taking a shower so that physical evidence can be collected. Even though you may not feel ready at this time to consider pressing charges against your attacker, the physical evidence will be preserved in case you decide to press charges at a later date.
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The idea of seeing a doctor may seem unpleasant, but it is important for you to see a medical professional.
Medical attention will help your immediate physical health and may prevent further damage to your health.
You don’t have to go alone. Having a family member or friend with you during the examination can help you feel at ease during the procedures. A Rape Crisis Program counselor may also be able to arrange for an advocate to accompany you.
Ask your medical professional to explain what they are doing before the examination so that you know what to expect. Make sure your doctor understands your situation. You may be more sensitive than a person who hasn’t been assaulted and may need more time and reassurance during medical procedures, no matter how routine. You have the right to interrupt or refuse any medical procedure you do not wish to undergo.
You can get treatment for your physical injuries and be tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV, either at a hospital or by your private doctor. Early detection of STIs is very important. Discuss any medical concerns you have with your doctor or counselor, but do not let concerns and fears prevent you from receiving the medical treatment you need and deserve.
Many rape survivors find that receiving medical attention helps them to regain a sense of control over their bodies.
For more information concerning your physical health, contact your local Planned Parenthood affiliate at 1 800 230 PLAN or plannedparenthood.org.
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Many rape survivors feel isolated in the aftermath of the assault. In order to reduce those feelings, reach out for support to those who are close to you: call family members, friends, or a Rape Crisis Program counselor. It might help you feel better to have someone to talk to, and you might want people around you so that you feel safe.
Consider professional support or counseling. Having someone to talk to about how you are feeling may help you to deal with the emotions you are experiencing. Additionally, a counselor can help you express your needs to others and learn how to get those needs met.
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One of the most important decisions you may struggle with is whether or not to report the crime to the police.
Whether or not you decide to press charges, you deserve support and should know about the range of services available to you. You may report the crime and still decide not to prosecute. You have the right to be notified of judicial proceedings against the accused if you decide to prosecute, and you may submit a victim impact statement when the defendant is sentenced.
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Your response to an assault may cover a wide range of physical and emotional symptoms, even some that may not seem to result directly from the attack. Learning to recognize these responses will help you gain control of them. You may experience these symptoms immediately or later in your life, or you may never experience any of them. Every survivor responds differently. You may even experience some symptoms that are not on this list.
POSSIBLE PHYSICAL RESPONSES AND SYMPTOMS
Muscle tension
Pain
Shortness of breath
Injury
Gynecological disturbances
Fatigue
Changes in sleeping and eating patterns
Flashbacks
Nightmares
Involuntary shaking
Sexual dysfunction
POSSIBLE EMOTIONAL RESPONSES AND SYMPTOMS
Feeling dirty
Anxiety
Shock/numbness
Embarrassment
Feeling of loss of control over one’s life
Relief
Fear
Grief
Depression
Loss of trust
Anger
Irritability
Suicidal thoughts
Denial
Preoccupation with safety
Guilt or self-blame
Shame
Apprehension
Indecision
Feeling stuck
Changes in perception of the world
Crying or inability to cry
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Sexual assault can change your feelings about yourself and those around you. You may not feel the way you did before the assault—physically, emotionally, socially, or sexually. Counseling can help you deal with these issues and aid you in your recovery
Individual counseling sessions with a supportive counselor can help you identify issues you would like to resolve surrounding the assault. Together, you will develop appropriate and attainable goals for yourself.
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If you have experienced a sexual assault, you may be left with painful wounds that are invisible to others but very real to you. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can occur when people experience terrifying situations that they cannot control. In cases of sexual assault, symptoms can include all of the responses listed previously. These symptoms can intrude into your daily life and prevent you from working, maintaining relationships, or completing everyday tasks. If you feel this is happening, you may want to seek help. A counselor can help you identify and overcome PTSD, which is a normal reaction to assault.
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Use the checklist below to measure your recovery and to help you develop your own list of goals.
■ I acknowledge that something terrible happened to me.
■ I am beginning to deal with my feelings about the assault.
■ I am angry about what was done to me but recognize that my anger is not a constant part of my feelings.
■ I can talk about the assault experience with a counselor or a therapist.
■ I am beginning to understand my feelings about the assault.
■ I can give responsibility for the assault to the person who attacked me. The responsibility is not mine to accept.
■ I could not have prevented the assault, and I recognize that I did the best I could to get through it.
■ I am developing a sense of my own self-value and am increasing my self-esteem.
■ I am comfortable with choices I make for myself.
■ I am developing a sense of being at ease with the subject of my assault.
■ I recognize that I have a choice about whether or not to forgive my assailant(s).
■ I recognize that I have begun to get back control in my life, that the assailant does not have power over me.
■ I recognize that I have the right to regain control.
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What is Consent?
Consent is permission for something to happen. When it comes to sex, consent is about all partners agreeing to a sexual act. This page looks at consent in a sexual health context and ways we can recognize, talk about, and use consent.
Consent exists when everyone involved can willingly give, withdraw, and negotiate permission. Each person involved should feel free to share their positive, negative, and ambivalent feelings.
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Teen Sexual Assault Resources
Agreeing to sexual activity with someone (saying “yes”, or giving “consent”) means that you have freely decided to engage in that activity. If you are pressured emotionally or physically, if you go along because you don’t feel you have a choice or because you don’t know how to get out of the situation (“coercion”), you are not giving consent. Any sexual contact that you do not consent to is sexual assault.
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LGBTQIA+ Sexual Assault Resources
Sexual violence affects every demographic and every community – including LGBTQ people. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), lesbian, gay and bisexual people experience sexual violence at similar or higher rates than straight people.
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Why Women Go Along with Slut Shaming
When a girl learns that being sexually humiliated is normal and typical, and that complaining is a risky move, she may accept her objectification with a smile. More troubling, she may become primed to accept this state of affairs for many years to come. Going along with it is also the rational course of action when you’ve grown accustomed to being mistreated but can’t name or explain what the mistreatment actually is.
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Reclaiming Sex and Romance After Assault
From polyamory to asexuality, a genuine sense of sexuality and emotional health should belong to everyone. Survivors, however, often face higher obstacles and rockier terrain when it comes to reclaiming sex and/or romance after harm. While every situation is unique, we talked to experts and gathered answers to common questions survivors have while healing these parts of their identity.
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How to Reconnect with Your Body After Sexual Assault
It is very possible to have a great sex life after trauma. In order to get there you need to have great communication, a willingness to work on yourself, and a compassionate partner — not to mention compassion for yourself. The trauma may very well have changed your life, but you are still in there. And your capacity for a fulfilling sex life is, too.
The Insight Program Survivor
When I joined the program I was actively involved in pressing charges and in a court case against a man who raped me while I was drunk. My outpatient counselor spent multiple treatment plans talking about how legal action wasn’t in my best interest or his. She told me it was just harmful in the long run and the best thing I could do is give it up to my Higher Power.
I ended up dropping the charges and abandoned the case. It’s a huge regret and I hate myself for being so easily convinced to let that man run free.
Reporting Sexual Assault
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How to Report
If you think you are a victim of a sexual crime--you have the right to choose whether or not you want to report, and how you report--if you choose to do so. Remember--it can take time for you to process what has happened to you, and it is your choice on how/when to report; your safety and well being are the most important. If you fear that reporting will jeopardize your safety or well being--there are resources that can offer necessary support (RAINN, NSVRC) in addition to the Victims' Rights afforded to you throughout the legal process. See below to learn more about reporting and the resources available to you.
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Victim's Rights
As a victim of a crime, you have rights that are afforded to you by state and federal regulations; though the victims' rights do vary slightly depending on state, jurisdiction, etc., the victims' rights typically followed in each state are outlined below:
Right to be treated with Dignity, Respect and Sensitivity
Right to be informed
Right to privacy and protection
Right to Apply for Compensation
Right to Restitution from the Offender
Right to Prompt Return of Personal Property
Right to a Speedy Trial
Right to the Enforcement of Victim’s Rights
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Mandated Reporting
All states designate certain professionals as mandated reporters – some states require all citizens to report. A mandated reporter is one who is required by law to report reasonable suspicions of abuse. Check your state mandatory reporting laws to determine if your profession is designated as a mandated reporter. Regardlesss of the specific mandated reporter law, all adults should report suspected abuse to protect children.
Most state law indicates that a report should be made when there is reason to believe that a child has been abused, is being abused, or is in danger of being abused. You do not need to have proof and knowledge beyond a reasonable doubt that abuse is occurring. Some state laws indicate "reasonable suspicion" as necessary for the report.
Mandatory Reporting Information
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Arizona
Who is a Mandated Reporter?
Counselors who develop the reasonable belief in the course of treating a patient, subject to the carve-outs in "Anything else I should know?"
Members of the clergy, priests or Christian Science practitioners subject to the carve-outs in "Anything else I should know?"
Any other person who has responsibility for the care or treatment of a minor
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California
Who is a Mandated Reporter?
Alcohol or drug counselors (i.e., persons providing counseling, therapy, or other clinical services for a state licensed or certified drug, alcohol, or drug and alcohol treatment program)
Administrators or employees of a public or private youth organization;
Administrators, board members, or employees of a public or private organization whose duties require direct contact and supervision of children
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Colorado
Who is a Mandated Reporter?
Licensed professional counselors;
Unlicensed psychotherapists;
Clergy members;
Mental health professionals;
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Florida
Who is a Mandated Reporter?
Healthcare professional or mental health professionals;
Practitioners who rely solely on spiritual means for healing;
Any person who knows or has or reasonable cause to suspect that a child is the victim of childhood sexual abuse
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Georgia
Who is a Mandated Reporter?
Child-counseling personnel
Professional counselors, social workers, or marriage and family therapists licensed pursuant to Chapter 10A of Title 43;
Child service organization personnel;
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Kansas
Who is a Mandated Reporter?
Registered alcohol and drug abuse counselors;
Licensed professional counselors;
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Missouri
Who is a Mandated Reporter?
Any person with responsibility for the care of children.
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North Carolina
Who is a Mandated Reporter?
Any person or institution.
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Texas
Who is a Mandated Reporter?
Any person or “Professional”
Additional Support Resources
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Love is Respect
love is respect is the national resource to disrupt and prevent unhealthy relationships and intimate partner violence by empowering young people through inclusive and equitable education, support, and resources.
A project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, love is respect offers 24/7 information, support, and advocacy to young people between the ages of 13 and 26 who have questions or concerns about their romantic relationships. We also provide support to concerned friends and family members, teachers, counselors, and other service providers through the same free and confidential services via phone, text, and live chat. Call 1.866.331.9474 or text “LOVEIS” 22522
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National Domestic Violence Hotline
24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic violence so they can live their lives free of abuse.
Contacts to The Hotline can expect highly-trained, expert advocates to offer free, confidential, and compassionate support, crisis intervention information, education, and referral services in over 200 languages.
Call us at 800.799.SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788
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Safe Connections
The Mission of Safe Connections is to reduce the impact and incidence of relationship violence and sexual assault through education, crisis intervention, counseling and support services.
We work to reduce the impact and incidence of domestic and sexual violence through individual and group therapy, 24-Hour crisis intervention, and prevention education programming. Additionally, Safe Connections serves nearly 20,000 individuals each year, inclusive of all genders and sexual orientations.
24-Hour Crisis Helpline 314.531.2003
Putting the victim of sexual assault in the position to chose whether or not to kick out a perpetrator, especially with the emphasis of ruining the chance for the perpetrator to “get better” or “stay sober”, is NOT appropriate or ethical by any means. Victims, and especially minors, should be protected and believed.
As Counselors of minors in a facility, they are mandated reporters. Mandated reporters must report allegations or even suspicions of sexual assault to local state agencies and remove perpetrators from the facilities.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER
Though Enthusiastic Sobriety Abuse Alliance (ESAAlliance) is extremely dedicated to providing clear, accurate information to all users, and intends for all information on this website to be true and available--the information presented on this website may not always be accurate, available, or current. ESAAlliance is not to be used in replacement of professional legal counsel or guidance, and is not legal advice, and therefore should not be treated as such. If you have any questions or concerns about legal issues, you should consult professional legal services, such as an attorney. ESAAlliance and the information presented on this website is not to be used in place of professional legal services; ESAAlliance is not liable for the outcomes of any legal proceedings/decisions/etc. that are influenced by information retrieved from this website.