Guide to Recovery

You have the right to be believed.

You have the right to be given the same credibility as any other crime victim.

You have the right to seek and receive help.

You have the right to courteous, efficient treatment.

You have the right to be treated with dignity and respect, without prejudice against race, class, lifestyle, age, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or occupation.

You have the right to accurate information, presented in a way that you understand.

You have the right to ask questions.

You have the right to make your own decisions.

You have the right to change your mind.

You have the right to get help and support from others.

You have the right to heal.

The first step in recovery is to know the facts. “Sexual assault” is a general term that includes: rape, incest, child molestation, marital rape, date rape, sexual harassment, sodomy, sexual abuse, voyeurism, and indecent exposure.

Sexual assault is a violent act committed primarily by a perpetrator who needs to feel powerful and in control by forcing someone else to participate in unwanted sexual activity.

Often, the victim fears for their life or physical well-being and feels that there is no choice but to do what the attacker wants. But submission does not equal consent. If you submit, it does not mean that you agreed to or accepted the situation. A victim is never responsible for being sexually assaulted. The responsibility for the assault lies with the attacker.

After you have been sexually assaulted, it is important to see a doctor before washing or taking a shower so that physical evidence can be collected. Even though you may not feel ready at this time to consider pressing charges against your attacker, the physical evidence will be preserved in case you decide to press charges at a later date.

The idea of seeing a doctor may seem unpleasant, but it is important for you to see a medical professional.

Medical attention will help your immediate physical health and may prevent further damage to your health.

You don’t have to go alone. Having a family member or friend with you during the examination can help you feel at ease during the procedures. A Rape Crisis Program counselor may also be able to arrange for an advocate to accompany you.

Ask your medical professional to explain what they are doing before the examination so that you know what to expect. Make sure your doctor understands your situation. You may be more sensitive than a person who hasn’t been assaulted and may need more time and reassurance during medical procedures, no matter how routine. You have the right to interrupt or refuse any medical procedure you do not wish to undergo.

You can get treatment for your physical injuries and be tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV, either at a hospital or by your private doctor. Early detection of STIs is very important. Discuss any medical concerns you have with your doctor or counselor, but do not let concerns and fears prevent you from receiving the medical treatment you need and deserve.

Many rape survivors find that receiving medical attention helps them to regain a sense of control over their bodies.

For more information concerning your physical health, contact your local Planned Parenthood affiliate at 1 800 230 PLAN or plannedparenthood.org.

Many rape survivors feel isolated in the aftermath of the assault. In order to reduce those feelings, reach out for support to those who are close to you: call family members, friends, or a Rape Crisis Program counselor. It might help you feel better to have someone to talk to, and you might want people around you so that you feel safe.

Consider professional support or counseling. Having someone to talk to about how you are feeling may help you to deal with the emotions you are experiencing. Additionally, a counselor can help you express your needs to others and learn how to get those needs met.

One of the most important decisions you may struggle with is whether or not to report the crime to the police.

Whether or not you decide to press charges, you deserve support and should know about the range of services available to you. You may report the crime and still decide not to prosecute. You have the right to be notified of judicial proceedings against the accused if you decide to prosecute, and you may submit a victim impact statement when the defendant is sentenced.

Your response to an assault may cover a wide range of physical and emotional symptoms, even some that may not seem to result directly from the attack. Learning to recognize these responses will help you gain control of them. You may experience these symptoms immediately or later in your life, or you may never experience any of them. Every survivor responds differently. You may even experience some symptoms that are not on this list.

POSSIBLE PHYSICAL RESPONSES AND SYMPTOMS

• Muscle tension

• Pain

• Shortness of breath

• Injury

• Gynecological disturbances

• Fatigue

• Changes in sleeping and eating patterns

• Flashbacks

• Nightmares

• Involuntary shaking

• Sexual dysfunction

POSSIBLE EMOTIONAL RESPONSES AND SYMPTOMS

• Feeling dirty

• Anxiety

• Shock/numbness

• Embarrassment

• Feeling of loss of control over one’s life

• Relief

• Fear

• Grief

• Depression

• Loss of trust

• Anger

• Irritability

• Suicidal thoughts

• Denial

• Preoccupation with safety

• Guilt or self-blame

• Shame

• Apprehension

• Indecision

• Feeling stuck

• Changes in perception of the world

• Crying or inability to cry

Sexual assault can change your feelings about yourself and those around you. You may not feel the way you did before the assault—physically, emotionally, socially, or sexually. Counseling can help you deal with these issues and aid you in your recovery

Individual counseling sessions with a supportive counselor can help you identify issues you would like to resolve surrounding the assault. Together, you will develop appropriate and attainable goals for yourself.

If you have experienced a sexual assault, you may be left with painful wounds that are invisible to others but very real to you. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can occur when people experience terrifying situations that they cannot control. In cases of sexual assault, symptoms can include all of the responses listed previously. These symptoms can intrude into your daily life and prevent you from working, maintaining relationships, or completing everyday tasks. If you feel this is happening, you may want to seek help. A counselor can help you identify and overcome PTSD, which is a normal reaction to assault.

Use the checklist below to measure your recovery and to help you develop your own list of goals.

■ I acknowledge that something terrible happened to me.

■ I am beginning to deal with my feelings about the assault.

■ I am angry about what was done to me but recognize that my anger is not a constant part of my feelings.

■ I can talk about the assault experience with a counselor or a therapist.

■ I am beginning to understand my feelings about the assault.

■ I can give responsibility for the assault to the person who attacked me. The responsibility is not mine to accept.

■ I could not have prevented the assault, and I recognize that I did the best I could to get through it.

■ I am developing a sense of my own self-value and am increasing my self-esteem.

■ I am comfortable with choices I make for myself.

■ I am developing a sense of being at ease with the subject of my assault.

■ I recognize that I have a choice about whether or not to forgive my assailant(s).

■ I recognize that I have begun to get back control in my life, that the assailant does not have power over me.

■ I recognize that I have the right to regain control.