Quitting Smoking for the Enthusiastic Sobriety Survivor
Cigarettes & Group Indoctrination
One of the more bizarre aspects of the group is the way cigarettes are used as an effective form of indoctrination.
Imagine an unhappy teenager who’s skeptical of the group they’ve just been introduced to: within their first few days of meeting this wild group who profess to love them, the teenager hears from a staff counselor “what would you say if I could not only get your parents to get off your ass about smoking cigarettes, but could even get them to buy your cigarettes for you?” The teenager scoffs and insists that’s not possible. Then that staff counselor meets privately with the parents again, reasserting how sick their kid is, and how the group is their only hope to not lose their kid forever. The parents just want their kid to be OK, and feel desperately unsure of what to do, but are willing to trust these charismatic counselors who insist they know how to help. They agree to commit to the program, and will find a way to get the money. Then the counselor explains how much goodwill and trust with their kid they will earn them if they’re willing to to do something unconventional and buy their child cigarettes. They assure them this is not part of their addiction and actually helps these kids break their addiction. And, seeing the crowd of laughing and smoking kids, a lot of parents concede. That’s an impressive feat to most young people - smokers or nonsmokers.
I don’t know if it still plays out exactly that way but, the founder, Bob Meehan’s explicit endorsements of cigarettes left an indelible mark on group culture since the 1970’s. The group started in the very early days of the federal anti-smoking campaigns, and so endorsing cigarettes was an easy way to position himself and the group as anti-establishment. Being anti-establishment is an important characteristic in attracting young people to join a sobriety group, and it’s a lasting aspect of the group’s branding. Though the sometimes fatal consequences of cigarettes can take decades to manifest, this group custom ensures years of addiction for countless young people who thought they were getting actual help.
This single strategy does a lot of harm to group members, while it serves multiple strategic purposes for the staff leadership who profit off the group. It securely establishes the staff as an ultimate authority in the young people’s lives, since it seems to the young person this group has made the impossible possible, and that ensures loyalty. Such a mystifying accomplishment as getting their parents to condone smoking compels a lot of young people to overcome any doubts they may have had about this group. It becomes one more thing they now share in common with this interesting group of rowdy affectionate young people, thereby deepening a sense of belonging that can keep members stuck for years.
It is also perhaps a first time staff get parents to betray their protective instincts and better judgement, beginning them on a path of having to resolve their cognitive dissonance. Once the parents have given so much to the group, they’re less inclined to seriously evaluate their participation.
In these ways, cigarettes are used to serve the purpose of maintaining and growing the group’s numbers, allegiance, and income, at the expense of families’ physical, mental, relational, and financial well-being.
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Smokefree Teen
If you’re trying to become smokefree, you don’t have to do it alone. There are free tools and tips that can increase your chances of quitting successfully. Smokefree Teen has free text message programs that give you 24/7 tips, advice, and encouragement to help you become—and stay—tobacco free. These programs look just like a text conversation you’d have with a friend.
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Quit Smoking Medicines
The quit-smoking medicines listed here are approved by the FDA for adults to use to quit cigarettes. If you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or younger than 18, you should not use these medicines without talking to your doctor. If you use tobacco products other than cigarettes (like cigars, chew, snuff, hookah, or e-cigarettes), talk to your doctor or other healthcare provider, or call the quitline (1-800-QUIT-NOW) to get help with quitting. All the ways to use medicines presented here are reviewed in Smoking Cessation: A Report of the Surgeon General (Chapter 6)
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Free Programs to Help Teens Quit Vaping
Most kids and teens know that cigarettes are addictive. But they might not think the same is true for e-cigarettes. When kids start vaping, most have the impression it won’t be hard to stop. They may not think it’s as addictive as other tobacco products. In fact, they soon learn, vaping can be very hard to ditch without outside help. Most kids don’t know where to find such help. But it does exist — and it’s free. A few programs are offering teens free help, and on their terms.
How Enthusiastic Sobriety Survivors Quit
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The Cornerstone Program Staff Survivor
“Mostly it just grossed me out since I wasn’t with smokers all the time. I smoked very infrequently for a long time, like a couple times a month. Then a family member died from cancer and I was just done.”
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PDAP Survivor
“I stopped buying cigarettes and vapes and started only hitting it when I was around people and then weeded it out from there.”
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The Insight Program Survivor
“I kept trying to quit for years after the group. Finally nicotine patches and weird little boundaries helped me. I stopped smoking inside, in cars, waiting 30 minutes after eating - basically I kept cutting it out of my daily routine.”
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The Crossroads Program Survivor
“I did it cold turkey and bought a big bag of dum dum lollipops. I put one in my mouth every time I wanted to smoke.”
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The Insight Program Survivor
“Wellbutrin did it for me. Kinda old fashioned but I also started buying cig brands that I HATED and it made smoking seem more like a chore than enjoyable.”
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The Pathway Program Staff Survivor
“I tried lots of ways, several times. Finally I just made a decision and I stopped. The biggest thing is that I KNOW I can’t have even one.”
Georgia Enthusiastic Sobriety Program Data
Missouri Enthusiastic Sobriety Program Data
Arizona Enthusiastic Sobriety Program Data
North Carolina Enthusiastic Sobriety Program Data
Colorado Enthusiastic Sobriety Program Data
Texas Enthusiastic Sobriety Program Data
“All staff knew the whole time I was in the group that I have severe asthma and smoked like crazy and no one would have dreamed of giving me advice to quit or cut down.”
— The Insight Program Survivor
“I was told to not even attempt to quit smoking until after I had a year sober or else I was putting my sobriety at risk. My parents were asked to regularly supply me with cigarettes when I was 17. I left the Group with a 2 pack a day smoking habit. ”
— The Insight Program Survivor
How to Quit Vaping or Smoking
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“Knowing our why can help us change any pattern or habit. Being clear on why we’re changing a behavior helps validate the decision to break that habit and gives us the motivation to discover a new habit or way of coping,” explains Kim Egel, a therapist in Cardiff, California.
One key reason for quitting might be concern over possible health effects of vaping. Since e-cigarettes are still fairly new, medical experts haven’t fully determined their short- and long-term health effects.
However, existing research has linked chemicals in e-cigarettes to:
If health reasons aren’t a big motivator, you might also want to think about:
the money you’ll save by quitting
protecting loved ones and pets against secondhand vape smoke
the freedom of not feeling agitated when you can’t vape, like on a long flight
There’s no right or wrong reason for quitting. It’s all about figuring out what matters most to you.
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Once you have a clear idea of why you want to quit, you’re ready for the next step: choosing a start date (or quit date, if you’re planning to go cold turkey).
Quitting can be tough, so consider choosing a time when you won’t be under a lot of added stress. In other words, the middle of finals week or the day before your annual review may not be ideal start dates.
That said, it’s not always possible to predict when life will get busy or complicated.
Once you commit to quitting, you can start anytime you like. Just keep in mind you might need a little extra support during stressful periods. That’s normal and nothing to be ashamed of.
Some people find it helps to choose a day with some significance. If your birthday or another day you like to remember is approaching, quitting on or around that day can make it even more meaningful.
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Research suggests the “cold turkey” method, or quitting vaping all at once, may be the most effective way to quit for some people.
According to the results of a 2016 study that looked at 697 cigarette smokers, those who quit cold turkey were more likely to be abstinent at the 4-week point than those who quit gradually. The same held true at the 8-week and 6-month follow-ups.
A 2019 review of three randomized controlled trials (considered the “gold standard” of research) also found evidence to suggest people who quit abruptly were more likely to quit successfully than those who tried to quit by gradually cutting back.
That said, gradually quitting can still work for some people. If you decide to go this route, just remember to keep your end goal of quitting completely in sight.
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It’s worth repeating: Quitting can be super tough, especially if you don’t have much support. Then there’s the whole issue of withdrawal, which can be pretty uncomfortable.
Nicotine replacement therapy — nicotine patches, gum, lozenges, sprays, and inhalers — can help some people. These products provide nicotine at a consistent dose, so you avoid the nicotine rush you get from vaping while still getting relief from withdrawal symptoms.
Your healthcare provider or pharmacist can help you find the right dosage. Some vaping products deliver more nicotine than cigarettes, so you may need to begin NRT at a higher dosage than if you smoked traditional cigarettes.
Experts recommend starting NRT the day you quit vaping. Just remember that NRT doesn’t help you address emotional vaping triggers, so talking to a therapist or getting support from a quit program is always a good idea.
Keep in mind that NRT isn’t recommended if you’re still using some form of tobacco along with vaping.
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Before starting the quitting process, you’ll also want to identify your triggers — the cues that make you want to vape. These can be physical, social, or emotional.
Triggers vary from person to person, but common ones include:
emotions like stress, boredom, or loneliness
doing something you connect to vaping, like hanging out with friends who vape or taking a break at work
seeing other people vaping
experiencing withdrawal symptoms
Patterns in your use and feelings that trigger use are good things to be mindful of when you’re evaluating your relationship with a given substance or trying to make changes.
Taking note of potential triggers as you plan to quit can help you develop a strategy to avoid or deal with these triggers.
If your friends vape, for example, you might have a harder time quitting if you spend a lot of time with them but don’t consider how you’ll address the temptation to vape with them.
Recognizing emotions that trigger vaping urges can help you take more productive steps to manage those emotions, like talking to loved ones or journaling about them.
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Once you quit vaping, the first week (or two or three) might be a little rough.
You might experience a combination of:
mood changes, like increased irritability, nervousness, and frustration
feelings of anxiety or depression
tiredness
difficulty sleeping
headaches
trouble focusing
increased hunger
As part of withdrawal, you’ll probably also experience cravings, or a strong urge to vape.
Come up with a list of things you can do to deal with the craving in the moment, such as:
practicing deep breathing
trying a short meditation
taking a quick walk or step outside for a change of scenery
texting a quit smoking program
playing a game or solving a crossword or number puzzle
Taking care of physical needs like hunger and thirst by eating balanced meals and staying hydrated can also help you manage cravings more successfully.
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It’s normal to feel a little nervous about telling loved ones you plan to quit vaping. This is especially the case if you don’t want them to think you’re judging them for continuing to vape. You might wonder whether you should even tell them at all.
It’s important to have this conversation, though, even if it seems like it might be difficult.
Friends and family who know you’re quitting can offer encouragement. Their support can make the withdrawal period easier to cope with.
Sharing your decision also opens the door for a conversation about your boundaries.
You might, for example:
ask friends not to vape around you
let friends know you’ll avoid places where people are vaping
Your decision to quit vaping is yours alone. You can show respect for your friends’ choices by focusing solely on your experience when talking about quitting:
“I don’t want to become dependent on nicotine.”
“I can’t catch my breath.”
“I worry about this nasty cough.”
Some people will probably be less supportive than others. If this happens, you might try restating your boundaries once more, and then taking some time away from the relationship.
Egel explains that when you make a major lifestyle change like quitting vaping, you may need to limit certain relationships to honor your decision to go nicotine-free.
“Everyone has a unique situation and needs,” she says, “but a huge part of the recovery process is having a social circle who supports your choice.”
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According to the American Cancer Society, only a small percentage of people — between 4 and 7 percent — quit successfully on a given attempt without medication or other support.
In other words, slip-ups are very common, especially if you’re not using NRT or don’t have a strong support system. If you end up vaping again, try not to give yourself a hard time.
Instead:
Remind yourself how far you’ve come. Whether that’s 1, 10, or 40 days without vaping, you’re still on the path to success.
Get back on the horse. Committing to quitting again right away can keep your motivation strong. Reminding yourself why you want to quit can also help.
Revisit your coping strategies. If certain strategies, like deep breathing, don’t seem to help you much, it’s OK to ditch them and try something else.
Shake up your routine. Varying your usual routine can help you avoid situations that make you feel like vaping.
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If you’re quitting nicotine (or any other substance), there’s no need to do it alone.
Medical support
If you’re considering NRT, it’s wise to talk to a healthcare provider to find the right dosage. They can also help you manage physical symptoms, provide tips for success, and connect you to quitting resources.
Some prescription medications, including bupropion and varenicline, can also help people overcome severe nicotine withdrawal when NRT doesn’t cut it.
Emotional support
Therapy can have a lot of benefit, particularly when you have underlying issues you’d like to work through.
A therapist can help you:
identify potential reasons for quitting
develop coping skills to manage cravings
explore new habits and behaviors
learn to manage emotions that factor into vaping
You can also try support that’s accessible 24 hours a day, like quit helplines (try 800-QUIT-NOW) or smartphone apps.
Kids & Drugs
& Rock & Roll
Crossroads is at best a scam that pulls children into a life of chain-smoking vulgarity. At worst, they contend that the program encourages affluent, well-tended kids to drop out of school, cut ties with the outside world and develop an unhealthy psychological dependence on the group.
The [HATE] Group
“I barely smoked cigarettes before Insight—our small outpatient room always had 10 or so kids, all constantly smoking. I had asthma, and was hospitalized multiple times during Insight,” Nickerson wrote. “Bob Meehan preached that cigarettes may kill your kids at some distant time in the future, but drugs will kill them tomorrow.”
“Prior to joining Insight, I was addicted to nicotine and thought cigarettes are disgusting. When I joined, Will Guest said people use nicotine here. I was not discouraged from quitting nicotine but encouraged to tell my parents and they allowed me to smoke because the staff pushed them too.”
— The Insight Program Survivor
Nicotine Replacement Therapy
Nicotine replacement therapy (NRT) is the most commonly used family of quit smoking medications. NRT reduces withdrawal feelings by giving you a small controlled amount of nicotine─but none of the other dangerous chemicals found in cigarettes. This small amount of nicotine helps satisfy your craving for nicotine and reduces the urge to smoke.
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The nicotine patch is an FDA-approved medicine that can help people quit smoking. It can be used daily by itself to control withdrawal symptoms, or it may be used with nicotine gum or lozenge which are taken as needed for strong cravings.
For best results, make sure you start on the right dose. The nicotine patch comes in three strengths (7 mg, 14 mg, 21 mg). The right dose for you depends on how much you currently smoke. If you smoke more than 10 cigarettes per day, consider starting on the 21 mg patch. Don’t wear two patches at once unless directed to do so by your healthcare provider. Over time (typically after 8 to 12 weeks), you should lower the dose with the goal of stopping use of the patch completely.
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The nicotine gum is an FDA-approved medicine that can help people quit smoking. It can be used every 2 hours by itself to control withdrawal symptoms, or it may be used as needed for stronger cravings when used in combination with nicotine patch.
Nicotine gum is not like regular chewing gum. To use it correctly, bite down slowly on the gum until you feel a tingling in your mouth. Then “park” the gum between the inside of your cheek and your gums. Hold it for about a minute to let the nicotine absorb into your body.
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The nicotine lozenge is an FDA-approved medicine that can help people quit smoking. It can be used every 1-2 hours by itself to control withdrawal symptoms (up to 20 pieces per day), or it may be used as needed for stronger cravings when used in combination with nicotine patch.
Nicotine lozenges are not like regular lozenges. To use properly, put the lozenge in your mouth between your gums and your cheek. You may feel a warm or tingling sensation. Allow the lozenge to dissolve slowly over 20-30 minutes, moving it around every so often from one side of your mouth to the other. Do not chew, suck, or swallow it.
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The nicotine oral inhaler is a prescription medicine approved by the FDA to help people quit smoking. When your doctor prescribes it, they will give you detailed instructions on how to use it and help you set and adjust your dose.
You’ll need a prescription from a prescribing healthcare provider for the nicotine oral inhaler.
The nicotine oral inhaler may look similar to a cigarette, but you need to use it differently. You do not need to inhale as deeply for the medicine to work. Do not inhale into the lungs like a cigarette, and do not use it like a traditional asthma inhaler. Instead, take frequent, short, and shallow puffs from the inhaler, similar to how you might sip from a straw. Use the inhaler for four 5-minute sessions, or continually for about 20 minutes (which is about how long one cartridge will last).
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The nicotine nasal spray is a prescription medicine approved by the FDA to help people quit smoking. When your doctor prescribes it, they will give you detailed instructions on how to use it and help you set and adjust your dose.
You’ll need a prescription from a prescribing healthcare provider for the nicotine nasal spray.
To use the nasal spray, first blow your nose to ensure it is clear. Tilt your head back slightly. Put the tip of the bottle into your nostril – as far as you feel comfortable. Breathe through your mouth. Then spray once in each nostril. Do not sniff, swallow, or inhale while spraying. If your nose runs, gently sniff to keep the medicine in your nose, where it will be absorbed. Wait at least 2-3 minutes before blowing your nose. Put the cap back on the nasal spray and store out of reach of children and pets. One bottle of nasal spray typically delivers about 200 sprays.
“Staff encouraged cigarette smoking a LOT!! The counselors convinced my parents to buy me cigarettes. I noticed a lot of non-smokers were pressured to start smoking. And anytime anyone expressed a desire to quit, Staff shamed and mocked them.”
— The Cornerstone Program Survivor
This is Quitting
This is Quitting is a free and anonymous text messaging program from Truth Initiative designed to help young people quit vaping. The first-of-its-kind quit program incorporates messages from other young people like them who have attempted to, or successfully quit, e-cigarettes. This is Quitting is tailored based on age (within 13 to 24 years old) and product usage to give teens and young adults appropriate recommendations about quitting.
To enroll in This is Quitting, teens and young adults text DITCHVAPE to 88709. The first messages they receive will ask for their age and product usage so that they are able to receive relevant messages. Users receive one age-appropriate message per day tailored to their enrollment date or quit date, which can be set and reset via text message.
The Pathway Program Staff Survivor
Staff believed that cigarettes were only bad for you because of the additives in them. They held Democrats responsible for this, claiming that all the additives were included to save the environment. Staff said rolled cigarettes or smoking from pipes were better because the tobacco itself wouldn’t cause cancer.
Risks of Nicotine for Teens and Young Adults
Most e-cigarettes (vapes) contain nicotine—the addictive drug in regular cigarettes, cigars, and other tobacco products.
A CDC study found that 99% of the e-cigarettes sold in assessed venues in the United States contained nicotine.
Some vape product labels do not disclose that they contain nicotine, and some vape liquids marketed as containing 0% nicotine have been found to contain nicotine.
Using nicotine in adolescence can harm the parts of the brain that control attention, learning, mood, and impulse control.
Nicotine can harm the developing adolescent brain. The brain keeps developing until about age 25.
Each time a new memory is created or a new skill is learned, stronger connections – or synapses – are built between brain cells. Young people’s brains build synapses faster than adult brains. Nicotine changes the way these synapses are formed.
Using nicotine in adolescence may also increase risk for future addiction to other drugs.
Some of the ingredients in e-cigarette aerosol could also be harmful to the lungs in the long-term.
The Crossroads Program Staff Survivor
Mike Weiland 100% told me that smoking doesn’t cause lung cancer. That’s probably the wildest thing I heard.
The most blatant example of how they can convince these desperate parents of anything is that after the first meeting, parents would go buy their kid a carton of cigarettes.
Tell Your Story
Share your story to help other survivors feel heard, seen and understood. We aim to expose the consistent patterns of abuses in Enthusiastic Sobriety Programs and prevent potential families from years of suffering from undue influence and abuse under the guise of drug and alcohol treatment. Enthusiastic Sobriety Survivor stories can be submitted anonymously by former group members, staff and families.